Min Qolbi

Give us strength
in our time of need
especially now
especially when she has lost all hope
especially when she needs it most
we can help her, insyaAllah
we can say all the words in the world
we can stay awake with her during the night
during the day
we can hold her, we can look her in the eyes
and tell her everything will be ok
but without You
without You, Ya Rabbuna
all efforts will be useless.
we haven't lost all hope
we know there will be that glitter of sunshine at the end of it all
but now Ya Allah,
please don't let us become weak
we need the strength for ourselves
and for her.
we need the patience
we need the spirit
we need You, Ya Allah
no one but You.

i feel sad, angry, guilty, disappointed, tired.
but most of all i feel hopeful.

ps. doakan kami di kala badai ini.

wallahu'alam.

Salam wrt,

Dear readers... This is a poem written by Gihad Ali. Perhaps the words sound familiar to you? It's the song sang and rapped by Outlandish, with fewer words. Gihad Ali is a Palestinian who is now living in Chicago. She wrote this poem during her teenage years... For the umpteenth time this week, terkena penangan lagi. I've wasted my teen years being cradled by fantasies, living in the bubble of my own world and yet someone at my own age and younger, even... can write something that moved me to tears. Yes, I know many have written endless accounts about Palestine. But this one moved me.

Eye to Eye by Gihad Ali

Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see.
You don't see a damn thing,
'cause you can't possibly relate to me.

You're blinded by our differences.
My life makes no sense to you.
I'm the persecuted Palestinian.
You're the American red, white and blue.

Each day you wake in tranquility,
No fears to cross your eyes.
Each day I wake in gratitude,
Thanking God He let me rise.

You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay.
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day.

Your biggest fear is getting ticketed
As you cruise your Cadillac.
My fear is that the tank that just left
Will turn around and come back.

American, do you realize,
That the taxes that you pay
Feed the forces that traumatize
My every living day?

The bulldozers and the tanks,
The gases and the guns,
The bombs that fall outside my door,
All due to American funds.

Yet do you know the truth
Of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth that no one knows?

You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of Zionists.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And I'm the terrorist?

You think you know all about terrorism
But you don't know it the way I do,
So let me define the term for you,
And teach you what you thought you knew.

I've known terrorism for quite some time,
Fifty-five years and more.
It's the fruitless garden uprooted in my yard.
It's the bulldozer in front of my door.

Terrorism breathes the air I breathe.
It's the checkpoint on my way to school.
It's the curfew that jails me in my own home,
And the penalties of breaking that curfew rule.

Terrorism is the robbery of my land,
And the torture of my mother,
The imprisonment of my innocent father,
The bullet in my baby brother.

So American, don't tell me you know about
The things I feel and see.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And the blame is put on me.

But I will not rest, I shall never settle
For the injustice my people endure.
Palestine is our land and there we'll remain
Until the day our homeland is secure.

And if that time shall never come,
Then we will never see a day of peace.
I will not be thrown from my own home,
Nor will my fight for justice cease.

And if I am killed, it will be in Falasteen.
It's written on my every breath.
So in your own patriotic words,
Give me liberty or give me death.

And another one, "I am not a Palestinian"

Salam wrt,

i still remember those days
when the organ was playing
and the sounds of violin smoothly moves in the music
the typewriter blends in with the orchestra
those days when we were carefree
those days when we were light with few responsibilities on our shoulder
those days when we could laugh and sing all day
those days
those days
maybe you and i are on different paths
maybe you and i have diverged most profoundly
but remember, my friends...
ties of sisterhood do not break
so long as we still hold on to Him
so long as we still grasp the handhold that binds us with Allah
yes, our paths may be different
but our end is certain
our goal is the same
if we do not see each other again
if we are not able to hear the sounds of philharmonic again
just be sure of this
and believe
and have faith in this
that we will meet in the afterlife
insyaAllah holding hands
under the trees of jannah
listening to the sounds of philharmonic.

ps. it was dedicated to one of my friends but now, i'd like to share it with all my sisters.. =)
pps. i like listening to orchestra, the one i first listened to with my friend was when we were still in high school. the theme of the orchestra was "human and machine" hence the typewriter.
ppps. missing jaulah syitawiyah '09 very much...

maafkan segala kesilapan, segala keterlaluan, segala apa yang meninggalkan guris dihati.

moga kita bersua lagi, insyaAllah... =)