Min Qolbi

Give us strength
in our time of need
especially now
especially when she has lost all hope
especially when she needs it most
we can help her, insyaAllah
we can say all the words in the world
we can stay awake with her during the night
during the day
we can hold her, we can look her in the eyes
and tell her everything will be ok
but without You
without You, Ya Rabbuna
all efforts will be useless.
we haven't lost all hope
we know there will be that glitter of sunshine at the end of it all
but now Ya Allah,
please don't let us become weak
we need the strength for ourselves
and for her.
we need the patience
we need the spirit
we need You, Ya Allah
no one but You.

i feel sad, angry, guilty, disappointed, tired.
but most of all i feel hopeful.

ps. doakan kami di kala badai ini.

wallahu'alam.

Salam wrt,

Dear readers... This is a poem written by Gihad Ali. Perhaps the words sound familiar to you? It's the song sang and rapped by Outlandish, with fewer words. Gihad Ali is a Palestinian who is now living in Chicago. She wrote this poem during her teenage years... For the umpteenth time this week, terkena penangan lagi. I've wasted my teen years being cradled by fantasies, living in the bubble of my own world and yet someone at my own age and younger, even... can write something that moved me to tears. Yes, I know many have written endless accounts about Palestine. But this one moved me.

Eye to Eye by Gihad Ali

Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see.
You don't see a damn thing,
'cause you can't possibly relate to me.

You're blinded by our differences.
My life makes no sense to you.
I'm the persecuted Palestinian.
You're the American red, white and blue.

Each day you wake in tranquility,
No fears to cross your eyes.
Each day I wake in gratitude,
Thanking God He let me rise.

You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay.
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day.

Your biggest fear is getting ticketed
As you cruise your Cadillac.
My fear is that the tank that just left
Will turn around and come back.

American, do you realize,
That the taxes that you pay
Feed the forces that traumatize
My every living day?

The bulldozers and the tanks,
The gases and the guns,
The bombs that fall outside my door,
All due to American funds.

Yet do you know the truth
Of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth that no one knows?

You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of Zionists.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And I'm the terrorist?

You think you know all about terrorism
But you don't know it the way I do,
So let me define the term for you,
And teach you what you thought you knew.

I've known terrorism for quite some time,
Fifty-five years and more.
It's the fruitless garden uprooted in my yard.
It's the bulldozer in front of my door.

Terrorism breathes the air I breathe.
It's the checkpoint on my way to school.
It's the curfew that jails me in my own home,
And the penalties of breaking that curfew rule.

Terrorism is the robbery of my land,
And the torture of my mother,
The imprisonment of my innocent father,
The bullet in my baby brother.

So American, don't tell me you know about
The things I feel and see.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And the blame is put on me.

But I will not rest, I shall never settle
For the injustice my people endure.
Palestine is our land and there we'll remain
Until the day our homeland is secure.

And if that time shall never come,
Then we will never see a day of peace.
I will not be thrown from my own home,
Nor will my fight for justice cease.

And if I am killed, it will be in Falasteen.
It's written on my every breath.
So in your own patriotic words,
Give me liberty or give me death.

And another one, "I am not a Palestinian"

Salam wrt,

i still remember those days
when the organ was playing
and the sounds of violin smoothly moves in the music
the typewriter blends in with the orchestra
those days when we were carefree
those days when we were light with few responsibilities on our shoulder
those days when we could laugh and sing all day
those days
those days
maybe you and i are on different paths
maybe you and i have diverged most profoundly
but remember, my friends...
ties of sisterhood do not break
so long as we still hold on to Him
so long as we still grasp the handhold that binds us with Allah
yes, our paths may be different
but our end is certain
our goal is the same
if we do not see each other again
if we are not able to hear the sounds of philharmonic again
just be sure of this
and believe
and have faith in this
that we will meet in the afterlife
insyaAllah holding hands
under the trees of jannah
listening to the sounds of philharmonic.

ps. it was dedicated to one of my friends but now, i'd like to share it with all my sisters.. =)
pps. i like listening to orchestra, the one i first listened to with my friend was when we were still in high school. the theme of the orchestra was "human and machine" hence the typewriter.
ppps. missing jaulah syitawiyah '09 very much...

maafkan segala kesilapan, segala keterlaluan, segala apa yang meninggalkan guris dihati.

moga kita bersua lagi, insyaAllah... =)

Salam wrt

Alhamdulillah, segala puji ke hadratNya..

"Good luck to you in your life (strangely, I heard "love"... but maybe it was beause of her accent). Now you can get married!" Larisa said happily and hugged us all... It was funny in a way. It was like we were doing a group hug of some sort.

It's one of our inside joke; that anyone who passes the Anatomy exam (or the "Red Carpet" exam) can get married. License to Marry, I call it. =P

Anyway, aside from our post-exam season (I can finally breathe without the weight of sapin textbooks on my shoulder)... a friend of mine gave this to me.. Jzkk, it really made my day. =)

A letter from a Christian to Muslim women

March 7th, 2007
By Joanna Francis
Writer, Journalist - USA

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness.

Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

Through Temptation

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

Self-Value

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you.

The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too!

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

A Woman’s Heart

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears.

Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love.

Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Self-Denial

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated.

We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot.

Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity.
Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!

I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister with love.

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did... =)

Wallahu'alam.

We keep asking where are the others?
Where is Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi and his victory during the Al-Hittin?
We keep waiting for the army
We keep searching for the people
To finally free Al-Quds
Days, weeks, months, years pass
And nothing...
We keep blaming others
Why aren't they helping?
Why are they still staring and waiting?
But we fail to look inside ourselves
And find the real cause
We are the reason there ain't others
Allah tests this ummah again and again
And yet... nothing
We stand at the sidelines
Watching our brothers and sisters on the field
Not marching with pride
But crawling and seething in pain
And yet we ask ourselves, "where are the others?"
Who else is there besides us?

"And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, "Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?" (4:75)

Victory doesn't stand on our side so long as we do not deserve it.

Salam wrt

Rasa seperti lama sudah aku meninggalkan jihad pena.
Rasa juga seperti keringanan untuk bertahajjud di malam hari semakin pudar; keindahan dan kesunyian di malam hari telah diisi dengan bertimbunnya fikiran dengan peperiksaan akan datang.
Masih juga lalai dengan kehidupan dunia.
Masih juga ditutup dengan kekaratan jahiliyah.

Hmm... aku sedar betapa lemahnya aku.

Selang beberapa hari yang lalu, my friend asked a sister, "Is it okay to be scared of exams?"

"Yes, why not?"

Dengan ketakutanlah, datangnya semangat untuk berusaha dengan lebih. Dengan ketakutanlah, kita lebih bergantung kepadaNya. Tetapi itulah, semakin hari semakin terasa sempitnya waktu, hinggakan ada sahaja yang ternampak gusar dek kedatangannya. Hinggakan ada juga yang tidak dapat fokus dalam solat, memikirkan banyak lagi tajuk2 yang belum di'cover' lagi. Kalau pada waktu biasa pun sukar untuk khusyu', inikan lagi waktu yang genting seperti ini.

I think it is during these difficult times that we tend to push Him aside. We keep thinking of how in the world are we going to finish study so many topics in such little time? We sleep with a book next to us, we drink and eat while a book is propped open next to us, everywhere we go we want a book to be right there next to us. Heck, if during prayers if it was possible, we'd feel so much better just looking at the cover while praying. But aren't we forgetting something?

Books don't determine our success. Books don't give us the knowledge... If we were to read a single book for 10 whole years, if Allah says no, then we might not get anything beneficial from reading the same book for 10 years.

Bukankah semuanya datang dari Allah? Yes, of course Allah is not the one who wrote our Sapin textbook or Lippincott's Biochemistry but believe it or not... all the knowledge that we learn our whole life comes from Him.

But why do we still depend on books? Bukan ingin mengatakan bahawa usaha itu tidak penting, bahkan usaha itulah yang paling penting sekali!

"Dan bahwa manusia hanya memperoleh apa yang telah diusahakannya, Dan kelak usahanya itu akan diperlihatkan kepadanya, Kemudian akan diberi balasan kepadanya dengan balasan yang sempurna" (An-Najm; 53:39-41)

Tetapi yang ingin diperkatakan di sini, janganlah sampai usaha itu memendekkan waktu solat, menghilangkan keindahan malam untuk beribadah kepadaNya, mempersedikitkan waktu untukNya dan terkadang lupakan masa bersamaNya.

Segala usaha perlulah disertai dengan tawakkal kepadaNya. Usaha dan tawakkal itu berjalan seiring, janganlah pisahkannya.

Ingatlah, bukan buku-buku yang memberi kita kejayaan, tetapi Allah sahaja yang memberi kita kejayaan.
Ingatlah, segalanya telah ditentukan... Tinggal usaha kita sahaja yang Allah hendak lihat.

Berusahalah, dan berdoalah kepadaNya. Nescaya kedua-duanya menjadi senjatamu.

Just a reminder... for myself and for all.. =)

ps. Doakan kami yang akan menghadapi exam Histology dan Anatomy...

Wallahu'alam.