Min Qolbi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Allah telah menuliskan semuanya; setiap detik perjalanan kita, setiap langkah yang diambil... Dan di situlah tarbiahnya, di situlah hikmahnya yang perlu kita cari; cari seperti ia sangat bernilai dan berharga bagai mencari mutiara-mutiara dalam lautan yang terbentang luas buat kita, cari seperti nyawa kita bergantung padanya. Dan di ketika itulah, hati kita terbuka - seluas-luasnya untuk menerima hidayah Allah dan mendakap cinta dan kasihNya.

Dan pada saat itu, Allah ketemukan kita dengan jiwa-jiwa hambaNya yang mengingatkan kita kembali kepadaNya, yang Allah utus jiwa-jiwanya kepada kita; untuk menyentuh hati-hati kita semula dan menghangatkan rasa dinginnya yang telah lama membeku dalam hati.

Mungkin tidak lama, mungkin masa kita bersama hanya seketika dan tak sesignifikan mana - selepas makan, menunggu untuk solat - bahkan jika dilihat dari jauh terasa seperti perbualan-perbualan biasa yang selalu dituturkan oleh orang kebanyakan. Namun di selang waktu-waktu itu, hatiku disentuh semula, dihidupkan apinya setelah sekian lama mula malap dengan arus waktu, di dalam hatiku, kuamati setiap bait kata-katamu dan entah mengapa pada waktu itu, hatiku dengan mudah menerimanya dan dengan mudah mengalirkan airmata. Ukhti, mungkin kita baru sahaja berkenalan, mungkin perkenalan kita tidak sedalam mana dan mungkin juga pada hari ini terasa seperti hari-hari yang biasa tetapi subhanAllah mungkin Allah telah mengutusmu untukku dan akhawat di sini untuk mengingatkan kembali mengapa kita berada di sini, di ketika ini, bersama kafilah ini.

Buat akhawatku di mana sahaja kamu berada, jangan pernah kamu sesali jalanmu ini, jangan pernah kamu sesali keberadaanmu di sini. Hatimu telah Allah sentuh dan sentak sekian banyak kalinya lewat murobbi-murobbi yang senantiasa tekun dan tidak putus-putus asa mentarbiah dan sahabat-sahabat di sekelilingmu yang tidak pernah jemu dan penat untuk menasihatimu dan berada di sampingmu walau sepahit dan sesukar mana perjalanan hidupmu. Ikatan ini bukan hanya ikatan keduniaan, bilamana ia akan terputus kerana sudah tiada lagi manfaat yang dapat diberikan. Ikatan ini bukan ikatan kebangsaan, yang hanya wujud kerana warna kulit yang sama atau tempat lahir yang sama. Ikatan ini adalah ikatan tasbih Allah, yang setiap butir tasbihnya melengkapi satu sama lain. Tanpa satupun butir tasbih itu, maka tidak lengkaplah tasbih itu.

Mungkin kita menyangka bahawa keberadaan kita tidak penting, tidak mendatangkan manfaat apa-apa pada dakwah ini. Mungkin kita merasa bahawa jika kita tidak menghadirkan diri dalam perkumpulan-perkumpulan seperti ini, banyak lagi perkara-perkara yang boleh kita lakukan untuk menggantinya.

Dengan rendah hatinya, dengan penuh kasih sayang padamu, aku katakan tidak, ukhti. Kamu tidak akan mendapatkan perkumpulan-perkumpulan ini sejauh mana kamu mencari di lautan dunia ini. Kerana di setiap saat bersama, di setiap pelukan dan sentuhan, dosa-dosa kita diampuni oleh Allah! Kerana di setiap saat bersama, kekuatan kita akan terus bertambah dan bertambah! Kerana di setiap saat bersama, ikatan sesama kita dan ikatan kita dengan Allah akan diperkukuhkan lagi!

Dan percayalah, dan imanilah bahawa jika kita tidak mengambil peluang ini dan menggenggamnya sekuat hati, maka kita akan diganti oleh orang lain.

"Maka jika kamu berpaling, maka sungguh, aku telah menyampaikan kepadamu apa yang menjadi tugasku sebagai rasul kepadamu. Dan Tuhanku akan mengganti kamu dengan kaum yang lain, sedang kamu tidak dapat mendatangkan mudarat kepadaNya sedikit pun. Sesungguhnya Tuhanku Maha pemelihara segala sesuatu."

Al-Hud, 11:57

Genggam eratlah nikmat dan hidayah yang telah Allah kurniakan kepadamu. Peganglah sekuat-kuatnya islam yang telah dikurniakan kepadamu. Dan ingatlah bila islam itu sampai kepada kita, kongsikanlah ia bersama yang lain! Kerana ia telah dikongsikan bersama kita pada awalnya.

S.H.A.R.E. = Saya Harap Allah REdha

Uhibbukunna fillah,

Bint Fadhil.

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

salam wrt,

alhamdulillah, i've passed paediatrics. And one more to go, inshaAllah...

sorry for the prolonged absence; i always have something to write, but i can't seem to finish writing it. Probably because i don't spend enough time for it. i'll be having another exam this friday, inshaAllah (Epidemiology) but since i have this little spare time on my hands, i'd like to write something before i continue my usual exam routine (sleep, study, eat, study, sleep). it really is a miracle how i can keep up this routine for one whole week now, i think my time is better managed than my other usual days.

this time in Nizhniy, it is extremely cold. we had quite a surprise with the warm winter in the beginning but well, knowing Russia.. we're back to our old -15°C to -20°C winter.

anyways, i've always thought that to gain a new habit is not really hard. you just pick a habit and just start doing it. but now, it is proven (mostly by my own humble and little experience) that not only is it difficult to take up a new habit, it is much much more difficult to keep doing it and continue doing it. well, for example, you might want to try to pace up on your Quran reading and at first, you were really enthusiastic about it, you even try putting it up on your schedule for one hour per day just for Quran and as time goes by, you start getting busier with work/studies/family, you just lose the enthusiasm you had earlier and begin compromising it.

and as much as our other habits that we try to continue doing, we find ourselves always in the brink of exhaustion and giving up. either it's because we are too occupied with something else or we lost the "spirit" we had and slowly we sink back to our old self. we get tired trying, we get tired just thinking about trying. and at first we might feel bad about it - getting fed up and tired, losing the spirit (baca: semangat/himmah) - but then as time goes by, we feel comfortable about not getting up and trying again, almost at peace with ourselves and the condition we're in.

and to tell you the truth, honest i-swear-to-tell-nothing-but-the-truth, that is the worst part. feeling at ease that you're not trying or striving to become better. because...

"We have certainly created man into hardship. "

- Al-Balad, 90:4

it is in the nature that Allah has created us with hardship along with it. as long as we breathe, as long as our soul and body are united - hardships, trials and tribulations - will always be part and parcel of our life.

"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving"

- Al-Mulk, 67:2

So, whenever we are faced with any obstacles, instead of asking,"Why me, why am i always the one to get in trouble, it's like trouble has my name written all over it?" Ask ourselves,"Why not?" Allah has created us, granted us with many pleasures, given us everything we could and could not think of; it is just natural that in His Position and Power to take everything back because it is not ours to begin with.

But, despair not!

"For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease."

Ash-Sharh, 94:5-6

Whenever we feel like giving up, at the brink of the mountain, just wanting to jump down, first of all, don't jump! and ponder for a moment that with every struggle we face, with every trials we go through, we will not reach the end of the dark, unlit, tunnel alone, we will not face a dead end. Because there is always hope for the doers of good. The nature that Allah shows us every single day - at the dawn of a new day, the narrow, fine line at the horizon slowly rising up to the sky and alas, the sun with all its brilliance and might that Allah created it with - that there is always hope for us.

After the darkness and uncertainty of the night, the sun shines again to tell us that hope is always there. He is always there. Allah is always there. For us. For you and me.

"And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good."

-Al-Ankabut, 29:69

Taking up a habit of doing good and becoming better; there is an unspoken rule that trials and tribulations will come along with it. But mashaAllah, if we just believe and have faith, du'a, du'a and du'a, and always remind ourselves and others as well that there is a better, much much much better, hundreds trillion times better, the-world-is-like-a-part-of-a-mosquito's-wing-compared-to-jannah better, we will face the trials and hardships and be rewarded with something much greater than that, biiznillah.

Because hardships don't last forever. Jannah does.

-farahfadhil

~a reminder to myself before everyone else, inshaAllah.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...