Min Qolbi

Kiasan buat Mereka.

2012-02-12T21:32:00.004+04:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Allah telah menuliskan semuanya; setiap detik perjalanan kita, setiap langkah yang diambil... Dan di situlah tarbiahnya, di situlah hikmahnya yang perlu kita cari; cari seperti ia sangat bernilai dan berharga bagai mencari mutiara-mutiara dalam lautan yang terbentang luas buat kita, cari seperti nyawa kita bergantung padanya. Dan di ketika itulah, hati kita terbuka - seluas-luasnya untuk menerima hidayah Allah dan mendakap cinta dan kasihNya.

Dan pada saat itu, Allah ketemukan kita dengan jiwa-jiwa hambaNya yang mengingatkan kita kembali kepadaNya, yang Allah utus jiwa-jiwanya kepada kita; untuk menyentuh hati-hati kita semula dan menghangatkan rasa dinginnya yang telah lama membeku dalam hati.

Mungkin tidak lama, mungkin masa kita bersama hanya seketika dan tak sesignifikan mana - selepas makan, menunggu untuk solat - bahkan jika dilihat dari jauh terasa seperti perbualan-perbualan biasa yang selalu dituturkan oleh orang kebanyakan. Namun di selang waktu-waktu itu, hatiku disentuh semula, dihidupkan apinya setelah sekian lama mula malap dengan arus waktu, di dalam hatiku, kuamati setiap bait kata-katamu dan entah mengapa pada waktu itu, hatiku dengan mudah menerimanya dan dengan mudah mengalirkan airmata. Ukhti, mungkin kita baru sahaja berkenalan, mungkin perkenalan kita tidak sedalam mana dan mungkin juga pada hari ini terasa seperti hari-hari yang biasa tetapi subhanAllah mungkin Allah telah mengutusmu untukku dan akhawat di sini untuk mengingatkan kembali mengapa kita berada di sini, di ketika ini, bersama kafilah ini.

Buat akhawatku di mana sahaja kamu berada, jangan pernah kamu sesali jalanmu ini, jangan pernah kamu sesali keberadaanmu di sini. Hatimu telah Allah sentuh dan sentak sekian banyak kalinya lewat murobbi-murobbi yang senantiasa tekun dan tidak putus-putus asa mentarbiah dan sahabat-sahabat di sekelilingmu yang tidak pernah jemu dan penat untuk menasihatimu dan berada di sampingmu walau sepahit dan sesukar mana perjalanan hidupmu. Ikatan ini bukan hanya ikatan keduniaan, bilamana ia akan terputus kerana sudah tiada lagi manfaat yang dapat diberikan. Ikatan ini bukan ikatan kebangsaan, yang hanya wujud kerana warna kulit yang sama atau tempat lahir yang sama. Ikatan ini adalah ikatan tasbih Allah, yang setiap butir tasbihnya melengkapi satu sama lain. Tanpa satupun butir tasbih itu, maka tidak lengkaplah tasbih itu.

Mungkin kita menyangka bahawa keberadaan kita tidak penting, tidak mendatangkan manfaat apa-apa pada dakwah ini. Mungkin kita merasa bahawa jika kita tidak menghadirkan diri dalam perkumpulan-perkumpulan seperti ini, banyak lagi perkara-perkara yang boleh kita lakukan untuk menggantinya.

Dengan rendah hatinya, dengan penuh kasih sayang padamu, aku katakan tidak, ukhti. Kamu tidak akan mendapatkan perkumpulan-perkumpulan ini sejauh mana kamu mencari di lautan dunia ini. Kerana di setiap saat bersama, di setiap pelukan dan sentuhan, dosa-dosa kita diampuni oleh Allah! Kerana di setiap saat bersama, kekuatan kita akan terus bertambah dan bertambah! Kerana di setiap saat bersama, ikatan sesama kita dan ikatan kita dengan Allah akan diperkukuhkan lagi!

Dan percayalah, dan imanilah bahawa jika kita tidak mengambil peluang ini dan menggenggamnya sekuat hati, maka kita akan diganti oleh orang lain.

"Maka jika kamu berpaling, maka sungguh, aku telah menyampaikan kepadamu apa yang menjadi tugasku sebagai rasul kepadamu. Dan Tuhanku akan mengganti kamu dengan kaum yang lain, sedang kamu tidak dapat mendatangkan mudarat kepadaNya sedikit pun. Sesungguhnya Tuhanku Maha pemelihara segala sesuatu."

Al-Hud, 11:57

Genggam eratlah nikmat dan hidayah yang telah Allah kurniakan kepadamu. Peganglah sekuat-kuatnya islam yang telah dikurniakan kepadamu. Dan ingatlah bila islam itu sampai kepada kita, kongsikanlah ia bersama yang lain! Kerana ia telah dikongsikan bersama kita pada awalnya.

S.H.A.R.E. = Saya Harap Allah REdha

Uhibbukunna fillah,

Bint Fadhil.

Midnight Chit-chat

2012-01-25T04:11:00.006+04:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

salam wrt,

there is a fine line between routine and actually doing something all out with your heart and soul. you might be doing both of them with all the strength you can possibly muster, you might be doing them at a seemingly impressive way as though you own it. but beware, those two carry different consequences.

the former; you'll probably end up with fatigue and unsatisfaction at the end of the day. the latter; you'll probably feel as if the whole world conspired to help you in doing whatever it is you're doing and thus with it, satisfaction comes along.

and what discriminates them from each other is your intention.

don't make a routine out of something magnificient Allah has granted you the opportunity to do. don't make a routine of of it just because you have been doing it for years now. don't make a routine of it because you think that's the only way you should be doing it.

the gift you have in your hands is something not to be routinized. get your intentions straight and start doing it the right way - "un"routinely as you possibly can. Remember Him every step of the way.

why do i feel so bashed up after reading my own entry?? urgh, it's not really a good feeling. means i have to do more than what i actually write.

and again, it goes back to our intentions. that's why it's the first hadith in An-Nawawi.

a short entry before continuing "de"routinizing my routine. =)

-farahfadhil

New Habits

2012-01-23T23:30:00.004+04:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

salam wrt,

alhamdulillah, i've passed paediatrics. And one more to go, inshaAllah...

sorry for the prolonged absence; i always have something to write, but i can't seem to finish writing it. Probably because i don't spend enough time for it. i'll be having another exam this friday, inshaAllah (Epidemiology) but since i have this little spare time on my hands, i'd like to write something before i continue my usual exam routine (sleep, study, eat, study, sleep). it really is a miracle how i can keep up this routine for one whole week now, i think my time is better managed than my other usual days.

this time in Nizhniy, it is extremely cold. we had quite a surprise with the warm winter in the beginning but well, knowing Russia.. we're back to our old -15°C to -20°C winter.

anyways, i've always thought that to gain a new habit is not really hard. you just pick a habit and just start doing it. but now, it is proven (mostly by my own humble and little experience) that not only is it difficult to take up a new habit, it is much much more difficult to keep doing it and continue doing it. well, for example, you might want to try to pace up on your Quran reading and at first, you were really enthusiastic about it, you even try putting it up on your schedule for one hour per day just for Quran and as time goes by, you start getting busier with work/studies/family, you just lose the enthusiasm you had earlier and begin compromising it.

and as much as our other habits that we try to continue doing, we find ourselves always in the brink of exhaustion and giving up. either it's because we are too occupied with something else or we lost the "spirit" we had and slowly we sink back to our old self. we get tired trying, we get tired just thinking about trying. and at first we might feel bad about it - getting fed up and tired, losing the spirit (baca: semangat/himmah) - but then as time goes by, we feel comfortable about not getting up and trying again, almost at peace with ourselves and the condition we're in.

and to tell you the truth, honest i-swear-to-tell-nothing-but-the-truth, that is the worst part. feeling at ease that you're not trying or striving to become better. because...

"We have certainly created man into hardship. "

- Al-Balad, 90:4

it is in the nature that Allah has created us with hardship along with it. as long as we breathe, as long as our soul and body are united - hardships, trials and tribulations - will always be part and parcel of our life.

"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving"

- Al-Mulk, 67:2

So, whenever we are faced with any obstacles, instead of asking,"Why me, why am i always the one to get in trouble, it's like trouble has my name written all over it?" Ask ourselves,"Why not?" Allah has created us, granted us with many pleasures, given us everything we could and could not think of; it is just natural that in His Position and Power to take everything back because it is not ours to begin with.

But, despair not!

"For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease."

Ash-Sharh, 94:5-6

Whenever we feel like giving up, at the brink of the mountain, just wanting to jump down, first of all, don't jump! and ponder for a moment that with every struggle we face, with every trials we go through, we will not reach the end of the dark, unlit, tunnel alone, we will not face a dead end. Because there is always hope for the doers of good. The nature that Allah shows us every single day - at the dawn of a new day, the narrow, fine line at the horizon slowly rising up to the sky and alas, the sun with all its brilliance and might that Allah created it with - that there is always hope for us.

After the darkness and uncertainty of the night, the sun shines again to tell us that hope is always there. He is always there. Allah is always there. For us. For you and me.

"And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good."

-Al-Ankabut, 29:69

Taking up a habit of doing good and becoming better; there is an unspoken rule that trials and tribulations will come along with it. But mashaAllah, if we just believe and have faith, du'a, du'a and du'a, and always remind ourselves and others as well that there is a better, much much much better, hundreds trillion times better, the-world-is-like-a-part-of-a-mosquito's-wing-compared-to-jannah better, we will face the trials and hardships and be rewarded with something much greater than that, biiznillah.

Because hardships don't last forever. Jannah does.

-farahfadhil

~a reminder to myself before everyone else, inshaAllah.

Surat dari Rijal yang Mati Hati

2011-05-18T23:04:00.008+04:00

Yang terhormat ustaz Hassan al-Banna,

Assalamualaikum wbth,

Apakah anda pernah mendengar tentang lelaki tanpa hati? Maaf, jika hati yang dimaksudkan adalah salah satu anggota tubuh dari daging yang berwarna merah, yang menarik dan melepaskan darahnya, tentu saja lelaki itu memilikinya. Yang dengannya dia dapat hidup & menjalani kehidupannya. Akan tetapi hati yang bersemangat, kuat & hidup, sayang sekali dia tidak memilikinya

Dia mengetahui kebaikan meskipun kecil, dia juga mengetahui keburukan meski pun samar-samar. Seringkali dia benar2 merasai & memahami perilaku seseorang dari wajahnya & dapat memberi respon terhadap hal itu. Akan tetapi, dia tidak memiliki hati.

Ketika bertemu dengan teman lamanya yang sudah lama tidak bersua, dia bersalam lalu menggenggam tangannya kuat, bahkan memeluknya. Namun hatinya, tetap beku, sama sekali tidak terpengaruh. Dia memberi nasihat kepada orang lain, "Jadilah kalian begini & jadilah kalian begitu", serta menyebutkan pelbagai dalil & bukti, namun hatinya semakin keras & tidak terpengaruh.

Dia tersenyum kala mendengar berita gembira. Dia juga mengerutkan dahi saat menerima berita duka.Akan tetapi, kegembiraan & kesedihannya hanyalah reaksi semula jadi semata, sedangkan hatinya tetap diam & tidak bergoncang. Dia menyatakan cinta & benci kepada seseorang. Tetapi ketika melihat hatinya, ia tetap diam tanpa memberi penjelasan. Dia berdiri menunaikan solat & berusaha khusyuk, membaca al-Quran & berusaha menumpukan perhatiannya. Ketika menunaikan solat, dia membaca bacaan solat dengan nadanya sehingga orang-orang pun berkata, "Dia itu khusyuk nampaknya." Akan tetapi ketika meraba hatinya, dia mendapatinya tuli & tidak khusyuk, walaupun memahami apa yang dibaca. Ini adalah gambaran sebenar yang terjadi pada hati lelaki itu.

Saya tidak melebih-lebihkan atau menguranginya. Menurut anda, apakah anda dapat mengatakan bahawa hatinya sama seperti kebiasaan hati orang-orang lain? Saya dianugerahi akal tetapi hati saya hilang. Saya merasakan akal fikiran saya cerdas berfikir, bekerja, hidup & menunjukkan kewujudannya. Akan tetapi, ketika saya ingin menghayati semua itu pada hati saya, sama sekali saya tidak menjumpainya. Saat ini, anda telah mendengar tentang seseorang lelaki yang tidak memiliki hati. Dia adalah seorang yang membuat perjanjian(baiah) dengan anda & anda telah mengambil janji setia darinya. Apakah anda rela jika seorang tentera anda hidup tanpa hati?

Apakah anda dapat membantu menghidupkan hatinya agar bergerak dan merasai apa yang diucapkan oleh lisannya? Inilah penyakit salah seorang tentera anda yang akan membuat anda sedih jika mengetahuinya. Oleh sebab itu, saya tidak akan menyebutkan namanya, hinggalah saya maklumkan anda bahawa dia telah sembuh.

Waalaikumussalam wbth

JAWAPAN ISHAB KEPADA RIJAL TANPA HATI

Waalaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Saya telah membaca suratmu dan sangat terpengaruh dengan kejujuran bahasamu, keindahan keberanianmu, halusnya kesedaranmu dan HIDUPNYA hatimu. Saudaraku, kamu bukan orang yang hatinya mati seperti yang kamu sangka.

Akan tetapi, kamu adalah seorang pemuda yang perasaannya tajam, jiwanya bersih dan nuraninya lembut. Seandainya tidak bersifat demikian,tentulah kamu engkari perasaanmu. Akan tetapi besarnya semangat & jauhnya tujuan (matlamat hidup) membuatmu menganggap kecil urusanmu yang besar & engkau mengharapkan tambahan untuknya. Tidak ada masalah dalam hal itu & memang itu yang sepatutnya berlaku.

Saya merasakan apa yang kamu rasakan, saya berjalan sebagaimana kamu berjalan & saya akan berusaha untuk memberikan beberapa nasihat. Jika nasihat-nasihat ini bermanfaat bagimu & dengan melaksanakannya kamu lihat dapat menghapuskan dahaga serta mengubati sakitmu, maka alhamdulillah atas taufikNya. Namun jika tidak demikian, maka saya senang untuk bertemu denganmu agar kita saling bekerjasama untuk mengenal pasti penyakitmu & menentukan ubatnya.

Berteman dengan orang-orang yang khusyuk yang selalu merenung, bergaul dengan orang yang selalu berfikir& menyendiri, dekat dengan orang yang bertaqwa & soleh yang dari mereka terpancar hikmah & dari wajah mereka terpancar cahaya, & dari hati mereka bertambah makrifat -dan jumlah mereka adalah sedikit- adalah ubat yang mujarab.

Berusahalah berteman dengan orang-orang seperti mereka, selalu bersama mereka, kembali kepada mereka & kamu sambungkan rohmu dengan roh mereka, jiwamu dengan jiwa mereka serta kamu habiskan kebanyakan waktu kosongmu bersama mereka. Hati-hatilah dengan orang yang mengaku-ngaku. Carilah orang yang keadaannya membuatmu bangkit bersemangat, perbuatannya membawamu berbuat baik & jika kamu melihatnya maka kamu mengingat Allah.

Berteman dengan orang-orang seperti ini adalah salah satu ubat yang mujarab kerana watak manusia sering mencuri, sehinggalah hati terpengaruh dengan hati yang lain dan jiwa pun mengambil contoh dari jiwa yang lain. Oleh kerana itu, berusahalah untuk menemukan jiwa-jiwa yang soleh sebagai teman.

Saudaraku, berfikir, berzikir di waktu-waktu yang suci, menyendiri, bermunajat serta merenung alam yang indah dan menakjubkan, menggali rahsia keindahan & keagungan alam, meneliti dengan hati & berzikir dengan lisantentang tanda keagungan yang menakjubkan serta hikmah yang agung ini, termasuk hal yang memberi kehidupan kepada hati dan menyinari kalbu dengan keimanan & keyakinan.

Allah swt berfirman; “Sesungguhnya dalampenciptaan langit & bumi, dan silih bergantinya malam & siang terdapat tanda-tanda bagi orang-orang yangberakal.” (Ali-Imran : 190)

Saudaraku, seterusnya berfikir tentang masyarakat, melihat pelbagai penderitaan, kebahagiaan, kesulitan serta keamanan, menjenguk orang sakit, menggembirakan orang yang ditimpa bencana & mengetahui sebab kesengsaraan yang berbentuk pembangkangan, kekafiran, kezaliman, pelanggaran, sikap mementingkan diri, egois, terpedaya oleh hal-hal yang semu, semua ini merupakan cantuman bagi rantaian hati yang menyatukan cerai berainya & menghidupkannya dari kematian.

Maka berusahalah agar kewujudanmu menjadi penghibur bagi sengsara & tertimpa bencana. Tidak ada perkara yang pengaruhnya lebih kuat terhadap perasaan daripada berbuat baik kepada orang yang sangat memerlukan, membantu orang yang teraniaya atau berkongsi rasa dengan orang yang susah atau sedih.

Saudaraku, hati ada di tangan Allah. Dia mengubahnya sesuai dengan kehendakNya. Oleh kerana itu, bersungguh-sungguhlah dalam berdoa, agar Dia memberikan kehidupan kepada hatimu, membuka dadamu dengan iman &melimpahkan keyakinan kepadamu sebagai anugerah serta nikmat dariNya. Berdoalah di waktu-waktu mustajab &waktu sahur kerana doa pada waktu sahur adalah ibarat anak panah yang meluncur tidak terhenti sehingga sampai ke Arasy. Saya tidak meragui keikhlasanmu dalam mencapai tujuan & kejujuran dalam pengakuanmu.

Allah swt berfirman; “Sesungguhnya Allah hanya menerima (korban) dari orang-orang yang bertaqwa.”(Al-Maidah : 27)

Saudaramu, Hassan Al-Banna.

Rising from the Ashes

2011-05-16T00:17:00.006+04:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

I remembered a while back when my dermatology professor told us, "Skin is like a mirror of our internal organs." If there is something wrong with your skin, you should definitely think about something wrong going on inside your body (either it is because of a disease, immune deficiency.. well, the list goes on, i'll probably bore you if i list them all down here). There were a whole lot of other things the professor told us, some of which really taught me, not only about dermatology and medicine but also about life. That was what i liked most about my dermatology cycle, you can gain all the knowledge you want from books and the internet but life experience is something invaluable to share with, something you can't get from books.

And so the same goes for us. sometimes, the way we talk, the way we look at others and talk to them, the way we smile and just by what we do, we actually convey if not all, part of what is inside of us. We do what our heart and mental judgment tells us too. We speak about what is in our hearts, about what is in our minds. If our hearts and minds are troubled, the things we do and talk will also be affected.

"Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole and which, if it be diseased, all of it is diseased. Truly it is the heart."

And in one of those many cases, especially when our iman and our hearts are not quite on the healty side (read: futur), we inevitably might have done slight glitches that might have affected those around us. Often, we keep asking, "Why am I the only one left out in this?" or "Why am I the one doing this?" or "I'm disappointed with everyone around me that I feel like I just want to sit at home and keep to myself" or.. well, you get my drift. We are so occupied with ourselves that we forget to look around us and see what others are going through, possibly the times they are going through are tougher than us. At times, we forget to smile or ask how they are doing. And even if we already know that giving salam is the best way to spread love, as in Rasulullah's hadith...

The Prophet صلى الله عليوسلم said, "You shall not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. Shall I not direct you to something that if you were to do it, you would love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves." [Muslim]

... maybe we tend to forget about it. There's always a difficulty especially when we want to confess our love to our friends and loved ones, when instead, Rasulullah S.A.W. has shown us the easiest way; spread salam and you will spread love. Ain't that sweet?

So, maybe we have our ups and downs. During the ups, we smile and laugh together but during the downs, we'll stick together through thick and thin. Because we know that ultimately, this bond between us is stronger than of blood, than of any kind of bond in this world, biiznillah...

"Truly Allah loves those who fight in His Cause in battle array, as if they were a solid cemented structure." (61:4)

No matter how much we dispute, how many disagreements we face, how many frowns we might have accidentally (oops!) shown to each other, be patient and be merciful to one another (read: rahmah) because what keeps us together is Allah. Because Allah loves when together we fight, we work and we strive for His sake. As Muslims and inshaAllah as Mukmins, love for Allah must always be number one, must always be the one to surpass love for others..

If you're asking why the title for this post is "Rising from the Ashes"? (erk, ada org ke yg nak bertanya?) Well, if you're well-acquainted with a mythical creature called 'phoenix' (best seen in Harry Potter movies, yeah that bird which carried the sword and healed Harry's wound... yes, guilty as charged, i used to be a "harry potter-kipas-susah-mati"), i'm kind of fond of that creature. Mostly because whenever it burns to ashes, it will rise again from the ashes. And to me, that's something we should learn from the mythical creature; whenever we fall down, whenever we fail, whenever we are depressed, disappointed with life and the world that we live in (read again: futur), we should always find a way to get back up again. And most of the time, that way is not going to be easy. But who do we ask the strength from?

No other than Allah 'Azza wa jalla.

Allahu'alam.

ps. alhamdulillah, i've managed to update a new post here (i've been keeping this post for several weeks now)

pss. asif jiddan to all my lovelies. i know i've been hard to deal with these couple of weeks. (read: emo)

pss. "Dalam Mihrab Cinta" is on youtube!

psss. if you're very, very, very free, check out "Sang Pencerah" too

Di Puncak Itu

2011-02-13T21:21:00.003+03:00

Alhamdulillah. Subhanallah. Allahu akbar.

Tak ku sangka akan kusampai ke puncaknya

merasakan dekatnya Nabi Musa dengan Penciptanya

merasakan ketakutannya ketika gunung Sinai hancur luluh menjadi debu

perjalanan ke puncak yang mencabar

merintih kelelahan usah ditanya berapa kali

namun perjalanan ke puncak itulah yang banyak mengajar

erti kesabaran dan tawakkal

dan ketika tiba di puncak

sejuk bayunya menggigit tulang

namun kudapat rasa manisnya

ketika melihat tempat Nabi Musa bermunajat

ketika melihat di mana dia sembunyi ketakutan pabila Allah menunjukkan kuasaNya

ketika kekasihNya Muhammad pernah menjejakkan kakinya

ketika melihat fajar menyinsing

dan sinaran pelita fajar yang naik di sebalik awanan

berdirinya ku di puncak itu

oh, kerdilnya hambaMu ini!

namun tidak dapat kukira

betapa banyak kalinya aku alpa, sombong

di puncak itu hatiku membisik

Subhanallah

Allahuakbar

Kaulah Pencipta semuanya

Tak dapat aku mengalahi sesuatu apapun dari penciptaanMu itu

namun Kau tetap melihatkannya semua padaku

Kau tetap menyuluh hati yang kecil dan lemah ini

Kau tetap mengisinya dengan cinta

dan di puncak itu

aku memperbaharui cintaku padaMu.

Memori Tur Sina, 28 Januari

2010-10-30T14:43:00.000+04:00

bismillah...

barangkali aku memerlukan ruang

ruang untuk muhasabah

ruang untuk memikir

ruang untuk bersamaNya...

kerana sungguh, hatiku layu

hatiku rindu

hatiku sangat-sangat membutuhkan

hatiku

sangat-sangat ingin mendakap cintaNya.

dan di kesibukan duniawi, barangkali aku lupa tentang itu.

aku rindukan aku yang dahulu.

Onboard the Freedom Flotilla

2010-05-29T00:42:00.004+04:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

“Dengan membersihkan hati dan meluruskan niat, hanya untuk mencari ridha Allah, BismillahirRahmaanirRahiim… kami berdua belas mewakili 220 juta rakyat Indonesia, ikut dalam kafilah ini membantu saudara-saudara kita di Gaza yang sedang dizalimi sekaligus menyatakan ‘tidak’ kepada kebiadaban penjajahan Israel selama 63 tahun terakhir ini,” demikian dikatakan Ferry Nur, ketua delegasi Indonesia yang juga Ketua Umum KISPA (Komite Indonesia untuk Solidaritas Palestina).

Di samping berjuang utk menghadapi exam, berdoalah semoga ikhwah akhwat fillah kita di Palestin juga tabah dan tsabat berjuang. inshaAllah.

"strength is with none but Allah!"

ps. for more info... click here, and here.
pss. doalah semoga kita ditenangkan hati dan diberikan kemudahan utk memahami dan mengingati ilmu-ilmuNya. (dan tidak lupa juga ketakutan kerana tidak ada perasaan takut dan resah lagi T__T)

allahu'alam

Di situ aku temui...

2010-05-13T17:48:00.005+04:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Salam wrt,

hari ini aku melihat pokok-pokok kehijauan...
tenangnya sungai Oka ditemani birunya langit...
angin yang sekali-sekala menghembus dari tingkap bas No. 12 itu..
dan di tika itu,
aku merasa rindu...
rindunya padaMu, Ya Allah!
tak terucap rasa, tak terungkap kata
aku inginkan cintaMu, Ya Rabb!

3:191 "(yaitu) orang-orang yang mengingat Allah sambil berdiri, duduk atau dalam keadaan berbaring, dan mereka memikirkan tentang penciptaan langit dan bumi (seraya berkata), "Ya Tuhan kami, tidaklah Engkau menciptakan semua ini sia-sia; Mahasuci Engkau, lindungilah kami dari azab neraka..."

Wallahu'alam.

ps. sekadar perkongsian rasa di kala penat berulang-alik dari kelas Dr. Andrei Aleksandrovich Goldenberg.

Ayuh, Ambil Tanganku!

2010-04-02T08:41:00.006+04:00

bismillah...

salam wrt,

kerana cinta dan ukhuwah aku mula menulis semula... Ya Allah, hanya Kau sahaja yang tahu betapa kosongnya hati ini bila telah lama aku tak menitipkan perasaan, himmah yang membara di sini.

Rasa sangat bersalah pun ada!

Terlalu banyak yang ingin di"share"kan di sini. Hehe... Tetapi, ada satu cerita ni yang kalau saya tak share di sini rasa macam rugi sangat. Jazakumullah juga kepada yang share cerita ini dan meremindkan semula ttg cerita ini pada saya. =)

Warning: Dalam kesemangatan saya bercerita, kemungkinan percampuran bahasa akan berlaku.

Pada Hari Yang Dijanjikan Allah (Hari Akhirat), akan ada satu golongan yang apabila diberi "green light" utk masuk syurga, terus mereka berlarian menuju syurga, tak pandang belakang, atas, bawah, kiri, kanan.. dalam hati-hati mereka terucap rasa syukur dan bahagia yang tiada tandingnya. Dan of course, siapa yang tidak akan buat begitu kan?

Tapi, yang peliknya... ada segolongan lagi yang tidak mahu masuk syurga lagi. Even when they already know that they will be inhabitants of Jannatullah, they will stand still. Dan mereka mula bertanya kepada Allah,"Ya Allah, saudara-saudara kami masih ada di dalam neraka... Saudaraku yang sentiasa bersamaku ketika solat, ketika puasa, (ketika berbuat apa-apa pun amal). Selamatkanlah mereka dari api neraka.. Tolonglah, Ya Allah!" Dan mereka pun merayu-rayu kepada Allah supaya mengeluarkan saudara-saudara mereka dari neraka.

Dan Allah Yang Maha Pengasih, Lagi Maha Penyayang berkata,"Pergilah dan keluarkanlah di antara saudara-saudaramu mana yang kau rasakan di dalam hatinya ada kebaikan sama dengan satu dinar"..

Berbondong-bondonglah mereka masuk ke neraka untuk menarik saudara-saudara mereka keluar dari neraka. And even at one time, the hellfire reaches till their knees, but it does not burn them. Subhanallah... And they will take whoever they recognize in the Hellfire and quickly take them out from it.

Allah berkata lagi,"Keluarkanlah mana-mana saudaramu yang kau rasa mereka punya kebaikan sama dengan setengah dinar dan mereka pun masuk semula dan mengeluarkan sesiapa sahaja yang mereka kenal. And for the third time, Allah berkata,"Pergilah dan keluarkanlah saudaramu yang kau rasa punya kebaikan dalam hatinya seberat satu atom pun." Dan sekali lagi, mereka pun turun beramai-ramai untuk mengeluarkan sesiapa yang mereka kenal dari api neraka.

Hmm.. sounds truly unbelievable, no?

But yet, Allah has said in the Quran...

"Surely! Allah wrongs not even of the weight of an atom (or a smallest ant) but if there is any good (done) He doubles it."
4:40

And with that smallest weight of an atom of kindness, He grants Jannah to whomever He wants. Dan apa yang lebih bermakna, apa yang lebih menyentuh hati adalah apabila saudara-saudara mereka sendiri yang masih ingat kepada mereka, yang masih ingin menolong mereka walaupun di akhirat nanti, yang selalu dikatakan kita akan melupakan manusia-manusia lain dan bimbang tentang pengakhiran kita sendiri. Tapi berbeza dengan mereka!

Subhanallah, sangat berbeza dengan mereka!

Mereka yang sanggup masuk ke api neraka (yang mengaum dan menjulang tinggi hingga ke langit apinya, yang bila Rasulullah sendiri dengar tentang keadaan di neraka-dengar sahaja-mahu kena heart attack dia!) dan mengeluarkan sahabat-sahabat, keluarga mereka darinya. Dan bukan sekali sahaja masuk neraka tu, sampai 3 kali! Sangat Penyayangnya Allah, meletakkan rasa cinta dan kasih sayang di dalam hati-hati kita, sehingga kita sanggup mengorbankan segalanya demi cinta dan ukhwah keranaNya.

Siapa kata ukhwah hingga ke akhir hayat sahaja?

Hingga ke syurga, inshaAllah! =))

Wallahu'alam.

ps. for further reference, Sahih Bukhari, Book 9, Volume 93, No. 532s

Benjo tak best!

2009-10-23T23:36:00.001+04:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Salam wrt,

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. All thanks are for Him as I breathe today with the understanding and comprehension He has given me. Asif jiddan kerana lama benar tak update blog, rasanya kalau guna vacuum pun tak dapat nak membersihkan sawang-sawang yang ada.. hehe... A few days I thought over the same thing, how I used to be and how it still affects me a little (at times, a lot) Ya benar, masih ada karat-karat Jahiliyah yang kadang-kadang melambatkan pergerakanku.. Mujahadah itu perlu bagi setiap Muslim. Di manakah letaknya iman kalau kita tiada mujadah? I used to think that when I'm about to do something, I just do it. Half-heartedly. What's in it for me, anyway?

But how was I wrong. So wrong.

Rasulullah bersabda, pada "Hari Infinity" nanti, akan ada seorang yang terakhir keluar dari neraka Jahannam. Dan bila dia keluar sahaja, dia rasa dialah orang yang paling beruntung sebab dapat melalui pelbagai azab dan masih dapat keluar dari neraka (padahal rasanya, orang yang memasuki Jannah bukan ke lebih baik?). Allah pun bertanya kepadanya kalau dia perlukan apa-apa lagi.. Dengan senang hatinya, dia menjawab, "Takpe2, ya Allah... aku dah cukup gembira dok bwh pokok yg rendang ni.. byk buahnya, sungai pun ada.."

Dan ceritanya berakhir begitu sahaja.

Hehe... tidak2, itu gurauan sahaja... Dengan izin Allah, Allah menampakkan kepadanya sebuah pokok yang lebih besar dengan lebih banyak buah dan dengan sungai yang lebih besar. Maka, lelaki itu tadi pun meminta kepada Allah agar dipindahkan ke pokok yang lebih besar tu. "Eh, kata tadi dah taknak apa-apa dah?" Allah bertanya (maaf, ayat yang exact tak dapat di kenal pasti). Dan lelaki itu pun merayu-rayu untuk dipindahkan ke pokok yang lebih besar itu. Dengan rahmat Allah, dia pun duduklah di bawah pokok besar itu. Kisah ini berterusan sampailah pada satu masa, Allah menampakkan syurga kepadanya (barangkali lelaki itu panjat pokok dan terintai-intai syurga.. mungkin? Hanya Allah yang tahu) dan serta-merta dia jatuh cinta pada syurga dan merayu dengan gila-gila pada Allah (begging, grovelling, you name it). Dah tiada malu dah untuk terus meminta supaya dimasukkan ke syurga.

Allah pun bertanya,"Adakah kamu nak masuk ke dalam syurga yang isi di dalamnya lebih hebat dari isi di dunia? Adakah kamu nak masuk ke dalam syurga yang isi di dalamnya lebih hebat dari isi di dunia?" Allah pun mengulang-ulang pertanyaan tu sebanyak 10 kali.

Lelaki itu pun terkebil-kebil dan berkata (dalam English best sikit kot), "Oh Allah, are you making fun of me?" "Kau buat lawak dgn aku ke, Ya Allah... Aku nak masuk syurga ni!" Betapa desperatenya lelaki itu nak masuk syurga.

Periwayat hadith itu senyum. Kerana Rasulullah pun tersenyum dan bertanya kepada yang mendengar cerita itu, "Tak nak tanya ke kenapa aku senyum?"

Nak tanya jugalah, "Tak nak tanya ke kenapa aku senyum?"

Kalau tak nak tanya pun takpelah, akan aku kisahkan jua..

Rasulullah senyum sebab Allah SWT pun senyum (sweet kan?). Allah senyum kerana dengan rahmat, kasih sayang dan cintaNya... Dia memasukkan lelaki itu ke dalam Jannah...

Sometimes, we have a very vague idea of how Jannah is like, it is full of grape trees, streams, you can have whatever you want in there. But truth is, it is more than what we think it is. Saya rasa syurga itu macam itu atau macam ini... tidak! Syurga itu lebih dari itu! Lebih dari apa otak kita (walaupun berfikir di luar kotak) dapat membayangkan. It is more than that!! We're talking about infinity here, people!

So, what has this hadith have anything to do with mujahadah?

Like Stephen Covey said... "To begin with the end in mind." In whatever we do, whatever we strive for, we have to have an aim (for example, Jannah), a push that keeps us going, a striving force, an impact force that makes us move with ultimate strength like we've never known before. Jihad untuk melawan diri sendiri, berdakwah dan berjihad fi sabilillah, bekerja untuk Islam sepenuh masa... what makes us go far?

Aim. Objective. And himmah (intention yang tinggi, semangat yang tinggi)

Like a brother once said, "Benjo tak sesedap burger!"

Kenapa? Sebab di dalam benjo, isinya hanyalah telur. Apa yang diperlukan untuk mendapat telur adalah dengan bertelurnya seekor ayam. Ayam tu tak syahid atau pengsan pun semasa bertelur. Tetapi lain pula dengan burger yang isinya daging. Memerlukan pengorbanan seekor kambing! Seekor kambing yang mati untuk memberikan kita burger dan hanya sebiji telur (tanpa apa-apa pengorbanan dari ayam) untuk memberi kita telur.

Di dalam kerja kita, apa sahaja yang kita lakukan, we must try our very best!!! Cubalah sedaya upaya hingga habis tenaga upaya kita! Bekerjalah, belajarlah, berdakwahlah sepenuh tenaga, jiwa dan raga! Ikhlaskan hati tanpa mengharap apa-apa balasan dari orang lain melainkan hanya untuk mardhatillah, nescaya apa orang lain kata, apa orang lain buat, apa yang kita lalui akan kita harungi semuanya kerana Allah sahaja.

Kerana kita punya aim. Dan aim kita itu memerlukan pengorbanan yang BESAR.

"(Iaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui."
"Nescaya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosamu dan memasukkan kamu ke dalam syurga yang mengalir sungai-sungai, dan ke tempat-tempat yang baik di dalam syurga 'Adn. Itulah kemenangan yang agung."

Silalah refer As-Saff, 61:11-12

Semoga yang ditulis ini dapat memberi peringatan bagi yang membaca dan juga yang menulisnya.

Wallahu'alam.

Di Ambang Jihad

2009-06-09T15:27:00.005+04:00

Salam wrt,

Aunt Swee Moi's funeral ceremony went smoothly, kata abangku. She was cremated katanya lagi. Semoga ayah di rumah dapat tabahkan hatinya. Tidak dapat kukirimkan apa2 kepadanya kecuali kalam-kalam Allah...

Somehow, it might seem imperceptible to us... but I realized how with the smallest of things, or the biggest of things, Allah could make us happy if He wanted to. Like the rain (yes, I really love the rain).. Some people might say, "Oh, it's raining again.." and continue doing whatever it is they're doing but some might jump up and down with happiness and feel a sense of relief and hope. To me, rain is a sign that Allah is still here, right here beside us, caressing us with every drop of rain.

"Allah-lah yang mengirimkan angin, lalu angin itu menggerakkan awan dan Allah membentangkannya di langit menurut yang Dia kehendaki, dan menjadikannya bergumpal-gumpal, lalu kau lihat hujan keluar dari celah-celahnya, maka apabila Dia menurunkannya kepada hamba-hambaNya yang Dia kehendaki tiba-tiba mereka bergembira.."
Ar-Rum, 30:48

Kita sering mabuk dengan kegembiraan dan asyik dalam kejayaan yang kita peroleh sampai kadang-kadang kita lupa semua kekuasaan, semua kekuatan yang kita ada bukanlah milik kita. "Strength is with none but Allah"! Every victory that we achieve, every paper that we score, every exam that we succeed with flying colours, it is all in the power of Allah. Dia berkuasa untuk menjayakan kita dan Dia juga berkuasa untuk menggagalkan kita.

And because of our inevitable tendency to forget, Allah reminds us that with every victory we achieve, always remember to tasbih and istighfar.

"Apabila telah datang pertolongan Allah dan kemenangan, dan engkau melihat manusia berbondong-bondong masuk agama Allah, maka bertasbihlah dengan memuji Tuhanmu dan mohonlah ampunan kepada-Nya. Sungguh, Dia Maha Penerima Taubat."
An-Nasr, 110:1-3

Tetapi kenapa Allah nak beri kita kemenangan? Maybe it is a test from Him to see how grateful we are towards Him. Do we still remember Him after all the achievements and the success? Sedar tak sedar, setiap masa pun kita diuji, di kala sedih dan juga di kala kita gembira.

And...

"(Ingatlah), ketika kamu memohon pertolongan kepada Tuhanmu, lalu diperkenankan-Nya bagimu,"Sungguh Aku akan mendatangkan bala bantuan kepadamu dengan seribu malaikat yang datang berturut-turut." Dan tidaklah Allah menjadikannya melainkan sebagai kabar gembira agar hatimu menjadi tenteram kerananya. Dan kemenangan itu hanyalah dari sisi Allah. Sungguh, Allah Mahaperkasa, Mahabijaksana."
Al-Anfal, 8:9-10

Sweet kan Allah? Memberi kita kemenangan hanya kerana Dia tahu, kita gembira dengan kemenangan itu (setelah berusaha gila2)...

Oleh itu, ingatlah Allah pada setiap masa... =)

ps. blog akan hiatus... (walaupun sblm ni byk je hiatus2nya)

Wallahu'alam.

dia pergi

2009-06-06T12:27:00.007+04:00

Pemergianmu membuatku sedih, rindu menggamit kalbu...
Seribu kesalan kerana tak dapat kuluahkan semuanya, tak mampu untuk melakukannya...
Gelak tawamu dan keceriaanmu akan sentiasa mengiringi perjalananku...
Ketabahanmu akan sentiasa kuingati.
Terima kasih kerana sentiasa menyokongku..

Aunt Goh Swee Moi
(1949-2009)

Cerita Seekor Kucing

2009-05-14T12:53:00.012+04:00

Salam wrt,
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Inilah dia kucing yang selalu dalam tajuk perbualan seharian kita, tidak kira di 8th floor atau di 9th floor atau di mana-mana sahaja. Ramai mengatakan mukanya penyek, mukanya garang, bulu lebat macam karpet, suka baring2 dgn position yg kurg sopan, busuk sbb tk mndi, karpet habis dicakar-cakarnya, mcm2 lagilah..

Tetapi walaupun org selalu mengatakan ttg dia, Bam bam inilah, Bam bam itulah... tetapi tetap ada org dtg menjenguknya... mungkin bagi mereka seekor kucing inilah pengubat hati mereka, menceriakan duka hati yang lara (chewah..!). Walaupun malas dan kadang-kadang tidak mahu melayan orang, tetapi keberadaannya dah cukup untuk menyejukkan hati. Cukup terharu juga bila dia bermiao dgn kuat sekali setiap pagi untuk mengejutkan org subuh... Jarang sekali mahu bermain, tetapi bila dia bermain, hati kita pula yang terasa riang... Suka pula pandang orang dengan mata besarnya dan muka kesiannya, sengaja mahu menagih simpati dan bermanja-manja.

Terfikir pula aku mengapalah makhluk sebegini diciptakan?

Isn't everything created in this world is for us humans? Ayam yang berkokok setiap pagi (kat Russia ni tak pernah pula jumpa, tapi teringatkan ayam di kampung), matahari yang bersinar di luar sana membuatkan org Russia yg depressed se depressed-depressednya pun happy, malam sebagai waktu rehat, org-org yg di sekeliling kita sebagai peneman hidup, pokok-pokok hijauan yg membekalkan O2 kpd kita dan mcm2 lg.. Allah itu kan sifatnya Al-Wahhab... memberi dan terus memberi.. tak pernah jemu memberi.. siang dan malam kita berdoa kepadaNya, tidak pula Dia jemu mendengarnya dan insyaAllah Dia akan kabulkan doa kita, Allah tak pernah pun memberi sesuatu yg tiada kegunaannya utk kita, memberi pula tanpa diminta... Rasa-rasanya, tak pernahlah pula kita minta seorang mak yang penyayang, baru Allah nak bagi, betul tak? Mak, sejak dari lahir sentiasa ada di sisi kita...

Actually, every single thing in this universe-if we just stop and ponder about it-has its own role and use and everything is not created just for fun, or just because He wants it there, He puts it there. And He creates all these for us. Just for us. In hopes that we use them the best we can, for the good.

"Dan jika kamu menghitung nikmat Allah, niscaya kamu tidak akan mampu menghitungnya. Sungguh, Allah benar-benar Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang." QS An-Nahl, 16:18

Is He not the Most Giving and the Most Loving?

"Yaitu orang-orang yang mengingat Allah sambil berdiri, duduk atau dalam keadaan berbaring, dan mereka memikirkan tentang penciptaan langit dan bumi (seraya berkata),"Ya Tuhan kami, tidaklah Engkau menciptakan semua ini sia-sia; Mahasuci Engkau, lindungilah kami dari azab neraka." QS Ali-'Imran, 3:191

ps.Rasa macam gambar tu tak bagi enough credit kat Bam bam. Serious muka dia tkdelah garang mcm ni...

Wallahu'alam.

Daie = Immune to Rejections

2009-05-01T18:48:00.000+04:00

Salam wrt,

Baru sudah lepas lecture Microbiology tadi (menjeling-jeling orang sebelah yang dgn muka gembiranya dan bisikan "yes!"nya selepas cikgu melepaskan kami pergi). Next week, kita jumpa lagi ya, Maianskii! (InsyaAllah).

Maianskii ni mengingatkan aku kepada byk org... atuk aku especially. Teringat bagaimana atuk aku masih boleh tersenyum dan gelak ketawa bersama cucu-cucunya dan cicit-cicitnya tanpa kedua-dua belah kakinya. Masih boleh berbual dan menanyakan tentang pelajaran kami walaupun menahan kesakitan dan menelan ubat yang bermacam-macam colour setiap hari. Tak terlihat pun kesedihannya jika seorang cicitnya takut kepadanya kerana tidak mempunyai kaki yang sempurna. Atuk sudah lama meninggalkan kami - 7 years to be exact - terasa amat sunyi setiap kali aku menjejakkan kaki di 9th floor, flat 38, tanglin halt st. Semoga roh Atuk dicucuri rahmat olehNya...

Maianskii pula tidak berputus asa dalam perjuangannya, walaupun diuji dgn dua kali stroke! Dia tetap datang ke kelas untuk mengajar murid-muridnya. Kalau ada sahaja yang tidak kami fahami, dia sentiasa bersedia utk terangkan semula.

Minggu ini, Maianskii bg lecture ttg immunity, mainly about vaccination. But i'm more interested in immunity itself. I've drawn up this conclusion (merely hypothetical):

Daie = immune to rejections.

Undoubtedly, we will face endless rejections or even worse; taunts, insults and whatnot. But what I've learned from my own mistakes and others' experiences (which are unmistakably, much more than what little adversity i've gone through) is that with every obstacle that we face, whether we are willing to or not, we certainly MUST develop our own immunity towards it. The rejections may keep on coming, obstacles will keep rolling down our way but all we have to do is have faith. Have faith that with each rejection and each obstacle we face, it is to strengthen us.

Let us take an example from Prophet Nuh. His da'wah went on for 950 years but no matter what he did, his people still rejected him. To the point where they plugged their ears with their own fingers and covered their faces each time Nuh came to meet them (they were "that" disgusted of Nuh). But he never once gave up his da'wah in that 950 years of his life.

Rasulullah himself was acquainted with plenty of rejections and not merely verbal ones, he was even beaten, thrown stones at, boycotted by his own beloved people. And with that too, he still continued his da'wah. I'm sure many of us know about Prophet Muhammad's journey to Taif, after he was badly beaten and taunted at, he rested under a tree. Adas (a helper in a farm) came up to him and gave him grapes. Before eating them, Rasulullah recited basmallah. Adas was surprised to hear him recite basmallah and said "Wallahi, that is not something usually said by the people around here." The Prophet then asked Adas,"Dear Adas, where are you from and what is your faith?" Adas said,"I am a Nazareth from Ninawai." Prophet Muhammad asked him again,"Do you come from the same place as Yunus bin Matta, the loyal servant of Allah?" "What do you know of Yunus bin Matta?", Adas asked. "He was a Prophet, as am I." And with that, spontaneously Adas hugged the Prophet and kissed his hands.

How subtle and delicate the way Muhammad pbuh touched Adas, even after he received such great torment from the people of Taif.

Such great strength and will. Muhammad pbuh was able to continue his dakwah in so many colourful ways.

If it were to be compared with us, terasa betapa kecilnya pengorbanan kita untuk Ad-Deen ini! Betapa ringannya bantahan dan tohmahan yang kita terima berbanding Rasulullah SAW! Tetapi acap kali apabila ajakan kita ditolak, kita murung dan sedih tak berkesudahan.

Always remember (a reminder to yours truly too) that with every rejection we face, shouldn't stop us from doing what we are doing. Bukan kita yang berkuasa untuk memberi hidayah kepada orang, kerja kita hanya mengajak... mengajak kembali kepada fitrah, mengajak kembali kepada Islam... the rest is all up to Him. Jika yang diajak itu tidak mahu menerima (setelah diajak dgn penuh sungguh-sungguh dan bercurah peluh keringat), yes, maybe we are entitled to feel a bit dejected tapi selepas itu kita harus bangun kembali, kita harus develop immunity towards rejection (atau apa2pun yang menjadi penghadang ketika kita berlari).

"Serulah (manusia) kepada jalan Tuhanmu dengan hikmah dan pengajaran yang baik, dan berdebatlah dengan mereka dengan cara yang baik. Sesungguhnya Tuhanmu, Dialah yang lebih mengetahui siapa yang sesat dari jalan-Nya dan Dialah yang lebih mengetahui siapa yang mendapat petunjuk."
An-Nahl, 16:125

ps. sambil tulis, sambil terasa kat diri sendiri... T_T

Wallahu'alam.

2009-03-27T11:13:00.002+03:00

Sewaktu masih kecil Husain (cucu Rasulullah Saw.) bertaya kepada ayahnya, Sayidina Ali ra: "Apakah engkau mencintai Allah?" Ali ra menjawab, "Ya".

Lalu Husain bertanya lagi: "Apakah engkau mencintai atuk (Rasulullah SAW) dari Ibu?" Ali ra kembali menjawab, "Ya".

Husain bertanya lagi: "Apakah engkau mencintai Ibuku?" Lagi-lagi Ali menjawab,"Ya". Husain kecil kembali bertanya: "Apakah engkau mencintaiku?" Ali menjawab, "Ya".

Terakhir Si Husain yang masih kecil itu bertanya, "Ayahku, bagaimana engkau menyatukan begitu banyak cinta di hatimu?" Kemudian Sayidina Ali menjelaskan: "Anakku, pertanyaanmu hebat! Cintaku pada atuk dari ibumu (Nabi Saw.), ibumu (Fatimah ra) dan kepada kamu sendiri adalah kerena cinta kepada Allah".

Karena sesungguhnya semua cinta itu adalah cabang-cabang cinta kepada Allah Swt.

Comel kan?? =)

Cinta

2009-03-27T10:02:00.005+03:00

Salam wrt

Greetings of peace to all my brothers and sisters!

Afwan kerana sejak kebelakangan ini, banyak posts yang berbaur emosi... It's been a few tough weeks for me, and more tough weeks to come. But no matter what, perjalanan kehidupan mesti diteruskan sehinggalah dipanggil oleh Yang Maha Esa. Semoga setiap langkah yang kita ambil bukanlah sia-sia bahkan membawa kita lebih dekat kepadaNya, insyaAllah.

Ingin aku ceritakan sebuah kisah yang berlaku dahulu.
Tetapi sebelum itu, aku ingin mengungkap semula firman Allah SWT,

"Teman-teman akrab pada hari itu saling bermusuhan satu sama lain, kecuali mereka yang bertaqwa." (Az-Zukhruf, 43:67)

Tersebutlah suatu kisah terdahulu terdapat seorang ni yang sgt kuat beribadah... Orang lain takkan kenalnya melainkan melalui ibadah yang dia lakukan. Jumpa je-tgh beribadah... Jumpe lagi-masih beribadah... Jumpe siang dan malam pun tekun beribadah. Namanya Al-Qis. Pada suatu hari, Al-Qis bertemu dengan Salamah (mungkin tidak tepat jika dikatakan bertemu dengannya, tetapi bertemu dengan suaranya) and for the first time, Al-Qis sangat kagum pada Salamah (suaranya). Salamah merupakan hamba seorang pemuda Quraisy. Pemuda Quraisy tersebut mengajak Al-Qis masuk ke rumahnya dan mendengar nyanyian Salamah.

Mula-mulanya Al-Qis tak nak tetapi setelah dipujuk rayu oleh pemuda Quraisy itu, Al-Qis pun menerima. Tetapi Al-Qis berkata,"Janganlah kau letakkan aku di tempat yang aku boleh melihat wanita itu dan wanita itu juga melihat aku!"

Al-Qis pun terus menikmati suara Salamah sehingga satu hari tuan Salamah menyuruh Al-Qis membawa Salamah ke rumahnya. Pada mulanya, Al-Qis tidak mahu tetapi lama-kelamaan, Al-Qis pun membawa Salamah ke rumahnya.

Dan perasaan cinta mulalah berputik di antara mereka berdua sehingga seluruh penduduk Mekah mengetahui perihal mereka berdua.

Sehinggalah suatu hari mereka hampir-hampir sahaja hendak bersentuhan, Al-Qis sempat menghalang dirinya sendiri. Al-Qis berkata,"Sesungguhnya, aku mendengar Allah berfirman: 'Teman-teman akrab pada hari itu saling bermusuhan satu sama lain, kecuali mereka yang bertaqwa.' Aku tidak mahu persahabatan kita berubah menjadi permusuhan di akhirat nanti."

Salamah pula berkata,"Adakah engkau kira bahawa Tuhanmu tidak akan menerima taubat kita apabila kita bertaubat kepadaNya?"

"Benar, namun aku merasa tidak aman jika kematian itu datang kepadaku secara tiba-tiba."

Al-Qis pun bangun berlinangan air matanya dan meninggalkan Salamah dan selama hidupnya tidak pernah berjumpa dengannya lagi.

(Adapted from "Kisah-kisah Para Pencari Tuhan")

Cinta merupakan fitrah manusia. Namun, adakah kita mahu cinta dunia atau cinta hakiki, cinta Allah? Ingatlah, segala cinta kita untuk manusia itu hanya merupakan satu cabang daripada cinta Allah yang Maha Besar.

"Aku cinta kepada siapa yang mengenal kami dengan kurnia-kurniaNya dan aku mencintai siapa yang mencintai kami dengan nikmat-nikmatNya. Dia datang kepada kita dengan membawa pemberianNya yang melimpah ruah, tidak terbatas. Dia sangat dekat sekali dengan hati-hati manusia dan mengabulkan segala permohonan. Dia dinamai dengan nama-nama yang indah, Dia memerintahkan untuk memohon kepadaNya. Sungguh Dia Maha Bijaksana lagi Maha Mulia, Maha Dekat lagi Maha Mengabulkan."

Wallahu'alam.

Supplication

2009-03-21T06:16:00.003+03:00

Salam wrt,

(O Allah! Verily, I seek refuge with You from weakness, laziness, senility (of old age), cowardliness, stinginess and the torment of the grave. O Allah! Give my soul its good and purify it, for You are the best to purify it. You are its Guardian and Master. O Allah! Verily, I seek refuge with You from a heart that is not humble, a soul that is not satisfied, knowledge that does not benefit and a supplication that is not answered.)

2009-03-09T01:03:00.001+03:00

Ya ukhti,
Aku bukanlah ingin memarahi atau mengaibkanmu,
Niat di hati bukanlah begitu,
Tetapi ingin aku luahkan selama ini
apa yang terbuku di hati.

Ya ukhti,
Kau lihat aku sentiasa tersenyum,
Sentiasa gelak ketawa ketika bersamamu,
Mungkin kau anggap aku sentiasa begitu,
Gembira tanpa kerisauan seperti namaku.

Aku juga punya kerisauan
Aku juga punya kesedihan,
Aku juga punya perasaan.

Aku tahu kau juga punya semua itu,
Tapi ya ukhti,
Satu sahaja yang aku minta,
Agar kau memahami bukan kau sahaja yang merasai itu semua.

Kau lihat aku tersenyum,
Tetapi mungkin kau juga tahu
Di sebalik senyuman terdapat seribu kebarangkalian,
Terhadap apa yang aku sembunyikan.

Jangan fikirkan tentang kesedihan dan kerisauanmu sahaja,
Jangan tenggelam dalam dirimu sendiri sahaja,
Lihat di sebelahmu, ukhti
Aku di sini sentiasa memerhatikanmu,
Walau terkadang aku lalai
Untuk bertanyakan tentang hatimu.

Lihat di sebelahmu, ukhti
Aku tahu aku punya kelemahan,
Terkadang aku juga sedih, marah, kecewa,
Bukankah itu semua fitrahku?
Tapi percayalah,
Aku juga mahu bersamamu
Memegang panji-panji jihad
Terus berlari ke arah Yang Satu
Janganlah dikau berpaling ke belakang dan menangisinya
Yakinlah semua yang telah terjadi
Adalah yang terbaik untuk kau dan aku.
Paculah kehadapan
Mungkin kita akan terjatuh bukan hanya sekali
Tetapi
Lihatlah di sebelahmu, ukhti
Akan sentiasa ada tangan untuk membantumu bangun kembali

"Bersiap dan berbuatlah, jangan menunggu datangnya esok hari, kerana bisa jadi
engkau tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa di esok hari.
Kita memang harus menunggu putaran waktu itu, tetapi kita tidak boleh berhenti.
Kita harus terus berbuat dan terus melangkah, kerana kita memang tidak mengenal
kata "berhenti" dalam berjihad."
-Syed Qutb

ps. luahan hati dek kerana beberapa peristiwa yang berlaku.

maaf atas segala kesalahan.

wallahu'alam.

My Wish

2009-03-05T12:25:00.003+03:00

Salam wrt

By Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you wanna go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
But more than anything, more than anything...

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you and the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And always give more than you take.

My wish for you, you and you... =D

HOPE

2009-02-28T13:35:00.002+03:00

Give us strength
in our time of need
especially now
especially when she has lost all hope
especially when she needs it most
we can help her, insyaAllah
we can say all the words in the world
we can stay awake with her during the night
during the day
we can hold her, we can look her in the eyes
and tell her everything will be ok
but without You
without You, Ya Rabbuna
all efforts will be useless.
we haven't lost all hope
we know there will be that glitter of sunshine at the end of it all
but now Ya Allah,
please don't let us become weak
we need the strength for ourselves
and for her.
we need the patience
we need the spirit
we need You, Ya Allah
no one but You.

i feel sad, angry, guilty, disappointed, tired.
but most of all i feel hopeful.

ps. doakan kami di kala badai ini.

wallahu'alam.

I am not a Palestinian

2009-02-21T13:32:00.002+03:00

Salam wrt,

Dear readers... This is a poem written by Gihad Ali. Perhaps the words sound familiar to you? It's the song sang and rapped by Outlandish, with fewer words. Gihad Ali is a Palestinian who is now living in Chicago. She wrote this poem during her teenage years... For the umpteenth time this week, terkena penangan lagi. I've wasted my teen years being cradled by fantasies, living in the bubble of my own world and yet someone at my own age and younger, even... can write something that moved me to tears. Yes, I know many have written endless accounts about Palestine. But this one moved me.

Eye to Eye by Gihad Ali

Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see.
You don't see a damn thing,
'cause you can't possibly relate to me.

You're blinded by our differences.
My life makes no sense to you.
I'm the persecuted Palestinian.
You're the American red, white and blue.

Each day you wake in tranquility,
No fears to cross your eyes.
Each day I wake in gratitude,
Thanking God He let me rise.

You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay.
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day.

Your biggest fear is getting ticketed
As you cruise your Cadillac.
My fear is that the tank that just left
Will turn around and come back.

American, do you realize,
That the taxes that you pay
Feed the forces that traumatize
My every living day?

The bulldozers and the tanks,
The gases and the guns,
The bombs that fall outside my door,
All due to American funds.

Yet do you know the truth
Of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth that no one knows?

You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of Zionists.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And I'm the terrorist?

You think you know all about terrorism
But you don't know it the way I do,
So let me define the term for you,
And teach you what you thought you knew.

I've known terrorism for quite some time,
Fifty-five years and more.
It's the fruitless garden uprooted in my yard.
It's the bulldozer in front of my door.

Terrorism breathes the air I breathe.
It's the checkpoint on my way to school.
It's the curfew that jails me in my own home,
And the penalties of breaking that curfew rule.

Terrorism is the robbery of my land,
And the torture of my mother,
The imprisonment of my innocent father,
The bullet in my baby brother.

So American, don't tell me you know about
The things I feel and see.
I'm terrorized in my own land
And the blame is put on me.

But I will not rest, I shall never settle
For the injustice my people endure.
Palestine is our land and there we'll remain
Until the day our homeland is secure.

And if that time shall never come,
Then we will never see a day of peace.
I will not be thrown from my own home,
Nor will my fight for justice cease.

And if I am killed, it will be in Falasteen.
It's written on my every breath.
So in your own patriotic words,
Give me liberty or give me death.

And another one, "I am not a Palestinian"

Invitation

2009-02-17T23:08:00.004+03:00

Salam wrt,

To My Sisters...

2009-02-08T21:18:00.002+03:00

i still remember those days
when the organ was playing
and the sounds of violin smoothly moves in the music
the typewriter blends in with the orchestra
those days when we were carefree
those days when we were light with few responsibilities on our shoulder
those days when we could laugh and sing all day
those days
those days
maybe you and i are on different paths
maybe you and i have diverged most profoundly
but remember, my friends...
ties of sisterhood do not break
so long as we still hold on to Him
so long as we still grasp the handhold that binds us with Allah
yes, our paths may be different
but our end is certain
our goal is the same
if we do not see each other again
if we are not able to hear the sounds of philharmonic again
just be sure of this
and believe
and have faith in this
that we will meet in the afterlife
insyaAllah holding hands
under the trees of jannah
listening to the sounds of philharmonic.

ps. it was dedicated to one of my friends but now, i'd like to share it with all my sisters.. =)
pps. i like listening to orchestra, the one i first listened to with my friend was when we were still in high school. the theme of the orchestra was "human and machine" hence the typewriter.
ppps. missing jaulah syitawiyah '09 very much...

maafkan segala kesilapan, segala keterlaluan, segala apa yang meninggalkan guris dihati.

moga kita bersua lagi, insyaAllah... =)

Senyuman yang panjang lebar =)

2009-01-24T09:16:00.003+03:00

Salam wrt

Alhamdulillah, segala puji ke hadratNya..

"Good luck to you in your life (strangely, I heard "love"... but maybe it was beause of her accent). Now you can get married!" Larisa said happily and hugged us all... It was funny in a way. It was like we were doing a group hug of some sort.

It's one of our inside joke; that anyone who passes the Anatomy exam (or the "Red Carpet" exam) can get married. License to Marry, I call it. =P

Anyway, aside from our post-exam season (I can finally breathe without the weight of sapin textbooks on my shoulder)... a friend of mine gave this to me.. Jzkk, it really made my day. =)

A letter from a Christian to Muslim women

March 7th, 2007
By Joanna Francis
Writer, Journalist - USA

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness.

Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

Through Temptation

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

Self-Value

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you.

The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too!

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

A Woman’s Heart

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears.

Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love.

Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Self-Denial

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated.

We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot.

Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity.
Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!

I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister with love.

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did... =)

Wallahu'alam.

Where are the others?

2009-01-09T02:26:00.003+03:00

We keep asking where are the others?
Where is Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi and his victory during the Al-Hittin?
We keep waiting for the army
We keep searching for the people
To finally free Al-Quds
Days, weeks, months, years pass
And nothing...
We keep blaming others
Why aren't they helping?
Why are they still staring and waiting?
But we fail to look inside ourselves
And find the real cause
We are the reason there ain't others
Allah tests this ummah again and again
And yet... nothing
We stand at the sidelines
Watching our brothers and sisters on the field
Not marching with pride
But crawling and seething in pain
And yet we ask ourselves, "where are the others?"
Who else is there besides us?

"And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, "Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?" (4:75)

Victory doesn't stand on our side so long as we do not deserve it.

Stop and Ponder..

2009-01-02T10:09:00.004+03:00

Salam wrt

Rasa seperti lama sudah aku meninggalkan jihad pena.
Rasa juga seperti keringanan untuk bertahajjud di malam hari semakin pudar; keindahan dan kesunyian di malam hari telah diisi dengan bertimbunnya fikiran dengan peperiksaan akan datang.
Masih juga lalai dengan kehidupan dunia.
Masih juga ditutup dengan kekaratan jahiliyah.

Hmm... aku sedar betapa lemahnya aku.

Selang beberapa hari yang lalu, my friend asked a sister, "Is it okay to be scared of exams?"

"Yes, why not?"

Dengan ketakutanlah, datangnya semangat untuk berusaha dengan lebih. Dengan ketakutanlah, kita lebih bergantung kepadaNya. Tetapi itulah, semakin hari semakin terasa sempitnya waktu, hinggakan ada sahaja yang ternampak gusar dek kedatangannya. Hinggakan ada juga yang tidak dapat fokus dalam solat, memikirkan banyak lagi tajuk2 yang belum di'cover' lagi. Kalau pada waktu biasa pun sukar untuk khusyu', inikan lagi waktu yang genting seperti ini.

I think it is during these difficult times that we tend to push Him aside. We keep thinking of how in the world are we going to finish study so many topics in such little time? We sleep with a book next to us, we drink and eat while a book is propped open next to us, everywhere we go we want a book to be right there next to us. Heck, if during prayers if it was possible, we'd feel so much better just looking at the cover while praying. But aren't we forgetting something?

Books don't determine our success. Books don't give us the knowledge... If we were to read a single book for 10 whole years, if Allah says no, then we might not get anything beneficial from reading the same book for 10 years.

Bukankah semuanya datang dari Allah? Yes, of course Allah is not the one who wrote our Sapin textbook or Lippincott's Biochemistry but believe it or not... all the knowledge that we learn our whole life comes from Him.

But why do we still depend on books? Bukan ingin mengatakan bahawa usaha itu tidak penting, bahkan usaha itulah yang paling penting sekali!

"Dan bahwa manusia hanya memperoleh apa yang telah diusahakannya, Dan kelak usahanya itu akan diperlihatkan kepadanya, Kemudian akan diberi balasan kepadanya dengan balasan yang sempurna" (An-Najm; 53:39-41)

Tetapi yang ingin diperkatakan di sini, janganlah sampai usaha itu memendekkan waktu solat, menghilangkan keindahan malam untuk beribadah kepadaNya, mempersedikitkan waktu untukNya dan terkadang lupakan masa bersamaNya.

Segala usaha perlulah disertai dengan tawakkal kepadaNya. Usaha dan tawakkal itu berjalan seiring, janganlah pisahkannya.

Ingatlah, bukan buku-buku yang memberi kita kejayaan, tetapi Allah sahaja yang memberi kita kejayaan.
Ingatlah, segalanya telah ditentukan... Tinggal usaha kita sahaja yang Allah hendak lihat.

Berusahalah, dan berdoalah kepadaNya. Nescaya kedua-duanya menjadi senjatamu.

Just a reminder... for myself and for all.. =)

ps. Doakan kami yang akan menghadapi exam Histology dan Anatomy...

Wallahu'alam.

mahukah kamu?

2008-12-06T00:01:00.003+03:00

Hidayah itu ibaratnya seperti kita sedang lena tidur dan di luar sana cahaya yang terang benderang sedang mengintip melalui celah-celah langsir yang menutupi bilik kita. Apakah kita mahu bangun dari lena dan tilam yang empuk untuk membuka langsir dan membiarkan cahaya di luar sana menerangi bilik kita atau terus tidur hingga cahaya itu terus lenyap?

Jangan disangka hidayah itu akan terus terpampang di hadapan mata kita... We have to take the first step to reach out for it.

Ya Muqallibal qulub... Thabbit qulubana 'ala deenik.
"Wahai Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkanlah hati-hati ini di dalam Ad-deenMu..."

Wallahu'alam.

Getting Twisted With Words.

2008-11-27T22:03:00.006+03:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

"Ah, Farah Fadhil... kamu rasa kamu ni anasir ke qabil?"

Terkebil-kebil mendengar soalan itu diajukan kepada aku. For all this time, I've been hearing about all the theoritical explanation about anasir taghyir and qabil taghyir but I've never categorised myself. I've never evaluated myself before. For those of you who doesn't know what qabil and anasir taghyir are, they are two categories/types of mad'u you will find yourself facing with in da'wah. Anasir are those who are very influential to their surroundings; they have sort of like an aura where whatever he/she says, everyone is sure to follow. Someone like the president of an organization, ketua geng, the Queen Bee... you know, those type of people. Of course, once you are able to attract anasir to join together and work for Islam, they will be the most productive... They are able to make the people around them to follow them as well, but thing is, you have to work twice harder and they probably will have commitment issues because they are also occupied with other things, like presidenting a club or something like that. And then there are the qabils, those who prefer to lay low in any social groups and they are easily-influenced. Easily-attracted, I daresay.

"Ha? Emmm... Qabil lagi kot...."

Come to think of it, I found this path... the path that I'm walking on right now because of my qabil-ness (is there such a word..?). Syukur lillah because without Him I would never have found the true purpose of my life. Macam seorang ustaz ini pernah berkata... Aku bukan pergi mencari hidayah, tetapi hidayah itu yang datang melanggar aku. Well, something along those lines.

I'm not really good with words. Infact, I've never once found myself good with words. Many times, I've misused words... hurt my friends' feelings, saying really farcical things with no purpose at all and another billion things I've done which I'm not proud of. Sometimes, I get caught up in conversations that I really don't see any purpose of having them in the first place. Astaghfirullah... And at other times, while I'm not talking, I keep quiet. I keep most feelings to myself. Many of my friends have said before that sometimes, I can be very quiet... It's just that to start a conversation that is worth conversing about is not one of my best traits.

"I sent an email to my loved one, just the other day
It's sad communication has evolved this way.
We use so many words but have so little to relay
as angels scribble down every letter that we say.
All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent
It's easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent.
But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed,
when we read our accounts, I know, for one, I'll be afraid."
-Dawud Wharnsby Ali

So, I still find myself a qabil. But I know, I cannot stay in one altitude forever. That isn't istiqamah. To be steadfast, to thabat in this Deen... there's always something we should improve about ourselves. Hijrah. Keep moving forward.

"Go forth, whether light or heavy, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the cause of Allah . That is better for you, if you only knew" (Taubah, 9:41)

Till then, wallahu'alam.

Uncle, oh Uncle....

2008-10-28T15:26:00.002+03:00

Semasa cuti summer yang lepas, my family had a small gathering with my dad's side of the family. Then, as usual... exchange of greetings, news of recent events in the family, aunts talking about their own husbands, children, grandchildren and uncles talking about business affairs. Agak terasa left out di sebalik perbualan mereka but I really like listening to one of my uncle's stories; he likes theology. His interest in religion is somewhat profound. Tetapi aku akui, pegangannya memang sesat. Tetapi yang menariknya, dia sangat berminat tentang Islam and there was one time, he said that Malaysian education should incorporate teachings of the Quran for the students not only for Muslim students but also for other students too. And economically as well. He admitted that the prophet saw was the best example of how we should live our life, moderately and not too over the top. He was also amazed at how Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. managed to spread Islam more than 2/3 of the world. Aku mengangguk tanda setuju, gembira pula ada orang berfikir sedemikian.

But the part which aggravates me the most was when he talked about how all the religions are the same; they convey only one thing. Truth. Bukan itu sahaja; kadang-kadang dia suka menafsir ayat2 Quran mengikut pandangan dia sendiri. Dia akui yang dia selalu juga berjumpa dgn ustaz2 utk bertanyakan hal2 Islam but when time doesn't really stand on his side, he results to reading it according to his own point of view. Dia berminat dengan Islam tetapi pada masa yang sama, dia tetap pada pendirian Buddhism dan Christian atau apa2 sahaja yang dipegangnya.

Pada pendapat aku, ilmunya tentang Islam masih di permukaan sahaja dan dia hanya mengambil bahagian2 yang dia rasa "convenient" kepada dirinya. Ibaratnya seperti jika dikatakan sekuntum bunga itu cantik dan diambilnya satu kelopak atau daunnya sahaja, masakan kita tahu sama ada bunga itu cantik atau tidak???

Semoga dia diberi hidayah oleh Allah. Semoga kelak dia membaca Quran bukan semata-mata untuk menambah ilmu atau membuat kajian atau sebagai penglipur lara sahaja, tetapi dia membaca dan belajar untuk melaksanakan, untuk menjadikan Quran sebagai garis panduan hidup dan meng"establish" hubungan yang lebih erat dengan Allah. Kesimpulannya, semoga kita semua mempunyai perasaan sebegitu terhadap Al-Quran Al-Karim.

Seperti kata Sayyid Qutb,"Perasaan ini jugalah yang menanam Al-Quran ke dalam jiwa mereka hingga ia meresap menjadi panduan dalam gerakan mereka, ia melahirkan pelajaran yang menggerakkan aktiviti, pelajaran yang tidak lagi merupakan teori yang bersarang di dalam kepala manusia dan di halaman kertas dan akhbar-akhbar sahaja, bahkan ianya menjadi kenyataan yang melahirkan kesan dan peristiwa yang mengubah garisan hidup."

"Bulan Ramadhan, bulan yang di dalamnya diturunkan (permulaan) al-Qur'an sebagai petunjuk bagi manusia dan penjelasan-penjelasan mengenai petunjuk itu dan pembeda (antara yang hak dan yang bathil)" 2:185

2008-10-19T02:33:00.007+04:00

Pada suatu masa tidak jauh dari masa ini, aku sering terfikir cinta dunia itu indah, penuh keasyikan dan aku sering leka. Leka terhadapMu, ya Rabbi.

Maafkanlah hambaMu ini... Maafkanlah diri yang lemah lagi hina ini yang terkadang tidak mampu untuk menepis godaan dunia ini tanpa kekuatan dariMu.

Di saat aku sendiri, aku bertanya pada diriku, bagaimanakah sesuatu yang berada di depan mataku, sesuatu yang selalu aku alami hari-harian boleh membuat aku lebih jauh dariMu? Cinta dunia telah mengaburi hatiku. Perasaan cinta yang aku anggap indah itu datangnya dariMu, ya Ilahi.. Mengapa aku sering terlupa? Cinta yang Kau anugerahkan kepadaku jauh lebih indah, jauh lebih murni dan tiada batasannya. Namun, aku masih mencari-cari cinta dunia yang sementara.

Ya Rahman, aku memohon kepadaMu... di kala aku alpa, ingatkanlah diri ini. Di kala aku asyik, kejutkanlah hatiku ini dari keasyikan dunia. "Letakkanlah dunia di tanganku, bukan di hatiku."

Dan di kesempatan ini, aku ingin sekali lagi kembali kepadaMu..

Farah Md. Fadhil
19 Syawal

Rechecking.

2008-10-17T21:26:00.001+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Finally the end of the week has arrived.. but I doubt I can get any rest from it... indeed, the best rest or the most fulfilling rest we can attain is in paradise. These past few weeks, I can't seem to get any study done during weekends.. maybe it's because of my lack of time scheduling or maybe because I haven't given it my best shot. Maybe it's the combination of both. Hmm.. semoga Allah permudahkan urusan kita...

Suddenly, I have this rush of ideas through my head but I don't really know what to talk about. Anyway...

A week ago, we hosted an "open house". Before the event, we discussed thoroughly about where to serve what, who should do what or what should go where or how much should we pay for what and whatnot, and out of the blue adalah seorang hamba Allah who asked us all,"What is the purpose of us hosting this?" and he wasn't asking sarcastically or just for the fun of it (I think). Maybe he was confused or maybe he wanted us all to check our real intention or niat of doing this. Some answered,"boleh praktis... nnti nak kawen senang..." (I laughed at this) and some answered "Boleh makan2 nanti..." and "Nak rapatkan silaturrahimla..." And that got me thinking of this hadith (perhaps many of you have heard it before)...

Narrated on the authority of Amirul Mu'minin, Abu Hafs 'Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Sometimes, even the smallest of actions, when you do it with utmost sincerity and just to get His Acceptance and Mercy, with His will... you will get what you wished for.

"Mereka yang berjuang untuk keredhaan Kami, pasti Kami tunjukkan jalan Kami, dan Allah tetap bersama orang yang berbuat baik." [29:69]

Abu Hurairah r.a. berkata: Bersabda Nabi s.a.w.: Saya telah melihat seorang masuk syurga, dan bersenang-senang kerana ia telah memotong suatu pohon yang mengganggu di jalan kaum muslimin.

(Riwayat Muslim)

Dalam riwayat lain: Seorang berjalan maka terganggu oleh dahan di jalan, maka ia berkata: Demi Allah saya akan menyingkirkan dahan ini dari jalan supaya tidak mengganggu pada kaum muslimin, maka ia masuk syurga.

Betapa penyayangnya Allah kan? I mean, if someone had moved a branch of a tree from the streets, we'd all be thinking... "Finally, org mpsj (majlis perbandaran subang jaya, in case some of you don't know) da buat pun keje diorg.. punyelah lame..." but if that person, pekerja mpsj tu really intended to move the tree branch because of Allah and so it would no longer be blocking a man from going to the mosque, imagine what would Allah grant him? Even if no one knows about what he did, Allah will surely, most definitely know about it.

"Dan semua yang kamu kerjakan dari kebaikan, maka Allah mengetahuinya." [2:197]

So, why waste time performing actions without a purpose when you can do them with exceptionally one purpose-because of Allah, and be granted with twice the good that you did?

provocative thought of the day. (hope this is provocative enough) я надеюсь!

Wallahu'alam.

Salam lebaran dari Russia

2008-10-03T13:16:00.012+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt...

On account of not having any particular muse for the time being (and missing home very much), I'd like to introduce you to:

Amir, Ayman, Nuha and Nawal

Aqeel

Adam and Akmal

Alfi Dubies

Laina

Ilyana

Hehe, salam aidilfitri everyone! =)

"Pemergian Ramadhan diiringi muhasabah penyubur iman,

Syawal disambut dengan sejuta harapan,

Moga tergolong sebagai insan pilihan,

Lurus jalannya menuju Tuhan..."

Jzkk, farah adibah! =)

Wallahu'alam..

Contemplation.

2008-09-20T18:48:00.002+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Alhamdulillah, eventhough the weather today was quite cold and most of us were exhausted, we managed again to perform tarawikh prayers today. Syukur lillah, setakat ini... sejak kita memulakan solat tarawikh di bilik ini, tak pernah sekali pun tertinggal. Harapnya dapat istiqamah.

This week was my second class of Philosophy. Frankly, most of the time I have no idea why we are even studying it. Hm, mungkin ada hikmah di sebaliknya. There was one part while we were discussing about Greek philosophers and there came up the term 'contemplation'. While my groupmates and the teacher were discussing what on earth 'contemplation' is - reclusing oneself and reflecting or thinking deeply and really, I have absolutely no idea what the Greek philosophers were thinking about while contemplating - I remembered that the Prophet pbuh once also often contemplated. And he contemplated about the society he lived in. How during the jahiliyah times, there were all sorts of misdoings and chaos around him and there came a time where he could not stand it any longer. It was then that he received his first revelation as a messenger of Allah. With one very important verb, iqra'! or read!..

But contemplation does not stop there, of course. Being a dai'e, contemplating is also one of the qualities we must have. Yes, mixing around with people is also important, for without mixing around or making new friends, how can one possibly enrich ukhuwwah? And without ukhuwwah, how can a dai'e fulfil his responsibilities of dakwah?

'Uzlah, or contemplating is one of the qualities a dai'e must have. But unlike the Greek philosophers who sit around 'thinking deeply' for hours and hours, a dai'e contemplates to bring himself closer to Allah. It is a way to communicate with Him, be it a prayer or performing namaz, or zikir or just telling Him about everything that you are feeling. As I have heard from an ustaz before, without establishing a strong relationship with Allah, how can you possibly let others see the beauty of Islam? If you are faced with challenges and difficulties while inviting people to the path of Islam (and undeniably, it is never-ending), how can you hold steadfast, how can you istiqamah without the strength that Allah grants you? Thus, our iman and our faith must also be stronghold in order to always continue to tsabat on this path.

Ibnu Taimiyyah once said, "Ada keharusan bagi hamba untuk melakukan 'uzlah
agar dapat beribadah kepada Allah, berdzikir kepadaNya, membaca ayat-ayat-Nya,
melakukan muhasabah terhadap dirinya, berdoa kepada-Nya, meminta ampunan-Nya,
menjauhi tindakan-tindakan yang jelek, dan lain sebagainya.

'Uzlah is also one of many ways to istighfar and reflect on the past mistakes which we have done and learn from them. To ask forgiveness from Allah and promise never to repeat them again... To return to Him...

And lastly, always remember that...
"Verily in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest." (13:28)

*Meluahkan ketidakpuasan hati belajar Philosophy..*

Pursuit of Happiness

2008-09-11T22:32:00.001+04:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Sudah lama rasanya tak update kat sini. Beberapa hari dah berlalu sejak tiba di Nizhny. Ketibaan di airport seperti mengimbau semula kenangan masa mula2 tiba di Moscow setahun lalu; all the laughter, happy being among friends and the uncertainty of what's to come. Alhamdulillah, I'm quite settled down already and insyaAllah, the challenge will start any time now.

It is a truth universally acknowledged (mcm pembukaan buku cerita pula, hehe) that every man in this world has not but one purpose; and that is to find happiness. What differs a man from another is how they strive to find happiness, which way they choose to find an inner happiness within themselves. Kadangkala, kita berjumpa dgn sekumpulan org yg menganggap kebahagiaan dapat dicapai dengan kemewahan; owning millions of money, expensive cars and big houses. They spend their lives planning on how to gain wealth and worrying about how to keep them safe and make sure the money keeps on coming.

And there is another group of people who think fame can bring them happiness. And then, they try different ways to become famous, auditioning for Akademi Fantasia or Malaysian Idol, making new discoveries to win a Nobel Prize or any other award... in hopes that when they win, they will become famous and happy.

And there is another group of people who believe that when they have the combination of both wealth and fame, they have reached the top of the world.

But, amidst fame and wealth... amidst all the pleasure and happiness the world can offer us... we must always keep in mind that:

"Sesungguhnya kehidupan di dunia itu hanyalah permainan dan senda gurau..."
(47:36)

And when they have achieved all the riches of the world, they start to think of how they can achieve more, how they can gain more money or get more awards... And some regret becoming famous and rich because their lives are changed and they cannot live their own normal lives anymore. In the end, they lose the real meaning of happiness and end up becoming slaves to the money and wealth that they were worshiping besides Allah.

And in the end we are faced with the same question from the very beginning, how can you really find happiness? But before I answer that question, I would like to ask one more question... What are we composed of?

Sudah semestinya kita menjawab, diri ini mempunyai jasad dan roh. Jasad secara fizikalnya dan juga roh, yang kedua-duanya menghasilkan kehidupan; diri kita seperti yang sekarang ini.

And what are we made of? What is our body made of? Our body is made of clay, soil, earth. And since the body is made of earth, in order to nourish it, we need nutrients that come from the earth, plants and animals that eat plants, water from lakes and rivers that comes down from the skies and air. So in order to nourish the body, we eat and drink from the land around us.

And what of our roh? How do we nourish it? How do we make our roh, "happy" so to speak? And where does our roh come from?

"Kemudian apabila telah Aku sempurnakan kejadiannya dan Aku tiupkan roh ciptaanKu kepadanya; maka tunduklah kamu dengan bersujud kepadanya"
(38:72)

Setelah Allah menjadikan jasad Nabi Adam a.s., Dia meniupkan roh yang diciptakan ke dalam jasadnya. Dan di situlah jawapan kita. Roh kita ini datangnya daripada Allah, Allahlah yang telah menjadikan roh kita. And to nourish the roh is to achieve happiness. Hmm, macam mana pula? Seperti juga yang dikatakan sebelumnya, diri kita ini terdiri daripada jasad dan roh. Jasad itu akan sentiasa bertukar-tukar sepanjang hidup kita, sama ada kita akan menjadi lebih tua, lebih kuat atau lebih muda... tetapi kalau roh, roh akan tetap begitu sahaja. Roh adalah roh; pada akhirnya roh akan di tempatkan di syurga atau neraka.

If we take our body, for example. we nourish it with elements in which it is originated from... and the same goes for our roh, we nourish it with the same element from which our roh originated from... Allah. By sustaining a connection with Him. But how do we exactly connect with Him, you ask?

By doing what He asks us to do... praying, fasting, zikir - everything that will bring us closer to Him.. Have you ever wondered whenever you have done all 5 prayers in a day, you feel fulfilled? This is because...

"Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan agar mereka beribadah kepadaKu"
(51:56)

We feel fulfilled and satisfied because we are fulfilling our purpose of life, that is to worship Him. Every single act of worship that we do, instantaneously, we feed our roh, we nourish it.. making it more alive. Even if our body is weak or ill, when our roh is happy and alive, we will be happy. =)

Something I read from a friend of mine. Well, I edited it just a little bit.

Truly in the heart there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.
-Ibn AlQayyim

Pride and Prejudice

2008-08-31T14:18:00.007+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Penat juga sebenarnya semalam. I slept quite late, watching the 2005's remake of "Pride and Prejudice". I would say it is one of the best classic movies I've ever watched (mempromote movie pula). That got me thinking of how prejudice, or buruk sangka or su'u dzan can mislead and often make you misjudge a person. And not only that, but it is also one of the significant elements that destroy ukhuwah. And that is why in the Quran, Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 12, Allah forbids us to exploit prejudice...

"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, jauhilah kebanyakan dari prasangka, sesungguhnya prasangka itu adalah dosa" (49:12)

Bersangka buruk akan menyebabkan diri kita jauh daripada nasihat. Disebabkan berprasangkalah, hati kita akan tertutup untuk mendengar dan menerima nasihat daripada seseorang kawan. It is true that sometimes, a friend giving an advice might also make mistakes on his own account but that should not stop us from listening to him. Kita kena selalu ingat bahawa manusia bukan malaikat, bukan maksum... we are bound to make mistakes. So, take what is good from him and leave what isn't.

Dalam ukhuwah, kita kena sentiasa bersangka baik, no matter how hard the circumstances are. Sadly, we are always caught up in our own feelings and try our best to find fault in others (or tajassus, in Arabic). Bila selalu cuba untuk mencari kesalahan orang lain, mulalah kita nak menyebarkannya kepada orang lain dan menceritakan keburukannya. Bagaimana hendak membina ukhuwah jika kita selalu menganggap seseorang itu berkelakuan buruk?

Ibnul Mubarak once said, "Orang mukmin selalu mencari alasan agar boleh memaafkan, sementara orang munafik selalu mencari kesalahan."

Sahabat2 Rasulullah are good examples of hindering prejudice. Pernah suatu ketika, Saad bin Abi Waqas dan Khalid bin Walid berselisihan tentang suatu perkara. Tapi bila ade sorg ni yang menceritakan keburukan Khalid di depannya, Saad pun tegur:"Diamlah, kita berselisih ni tak sampai menyentuh masalah agama." Dan pernah pula, sorg ni memuji kebaikan Saad dan Khalid pun ikut memujinya.. Oran2 lain pun semua hairan, bukankah mereka berdua ni bergaduh... sempat pula si Khalid ni nak puji2 Saad tu. Khalid pun menjawab,"Perselisihan kami ni tak sampai menyentuh masalah agama.

Which goes to show, even if they disagree about something, they don't talk bad about the other behind his back or try to stab him and kill him because they do not want their disagreement to cause them to commit a sin.

So, bila2 kita bertekak dengan kawan kita, selalulah memujinya di depan orang lain! Kan bagus tu. Hmm, bertambah pahala.

On another side of the coin, Alhamdulillah pada 29 Ogos 2008 Abang Cam and Kak Jaemy telah dianugerahkan dengan seorang lagi putera! 3 boys in a row... (this should be fun, hehe). Nama yang diberikan ialah Alfi Dubies. Puas juga mencari makna nama tu, tapi tak dapat pula. It's a wonderful feeling, especially when you lay your eyes on such tiny being, holding his small, fragile hands... hilang semua kesedihan dan kerisauan seketika. Subhanallah.

Selamat menyambut ramadhan semua! Moga dengan bulan penuh keberkatan ini, kita terus berusaha untuk dekat denganNya.

Wallahu'alam.

Horrifying, Mortifying Times

2008-08-27T20:48:00.002+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

If I asked you what you thought about exams, what exactly would your answer be?
-"frightening", "scary", "teeth-shattering", "awful"... or you might probably run away from me from asking such peculiar question (must be a real geek to run away from me).

But seriously, what do you think about exams?

Ada seorang budak ni yang sangat2 genius, org kate tak pernah fail sekali pun dlm hidup dia and his marks for exams are always 95% and above (never less), dan dlm satu sekolah die tak pernah dpt nombor lg tinggi dr 3. Hebat betul budak ni kan? (jealouslah pulak...) Berita tentang kepintaran budak ni pun tersebar satu negara, dan di sebuah sekolah yg sangat prestigiouslah kononnya, pengetuanya pun memberi tawaran kpd budak ini untuk masuk sekolah die, belajar for 6 months only untuk SPM - and not only that, semua answer schemes untuk soalan peperiksaan yang besar itu will be passed to him. All he has to do is study that answer schemes for 6 months and jawab soalan2 yg dah diberi jawapannya bulat2. And the great thing about this prestigious school is it has all the facilities you want. Nak tuition? Cikgu sentiasa ade 24 jam kalau nk bertanya? swimming pool? gelanggang tennis, bola sepak, etc? bilik yg sgt selesa n ade air-cond? ape2 sajelah...

Budak ni dgn selambenye pula ckp tak nak... Tak ke bengang pengetua tu tadi? Aduh2, org da bg jln kluar yg senang tp dia tak nak pulak.

And here's the billion-dollar question; takutkah anda semua (yg tgh bace ni...) pada hari kiamat???
-"Mestilah takut, siapa yang tak?", "AAAH!!! Esok nak kiamat ke???!!!" or you might probably run away from me again (this time, I might understand why).

Sepatutnya kite sbg org Islam, patut rase seronok, happy sebab ada hari qiamat ni. Because with every work that we do, every amal soleh, every good deed that we do because of Him... when The Day comes, we will be protected and gain His Blessings to enter jannah. Indeed, we should be motivated to work hard. Setiap amal soleh yang kita buat akan dibalas olehNya. And in some ways we are quite similar to the genius boy I told you about before.

"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, mahukah kamu aku tunjukkan suatu perniagaan yang dapat menyelamatkan kamu dari azab yang pedih?"
"(Iaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan rasul-Nya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahuinya."
As-Saff:10-11

The offer has already been made, the answer scheme... well, it comes with the offer as well... It really is up to us whether we want to accept it or not. A few verses from the Quran is not suffice enough? Well, we have the whole Quran in our hands, don't we? Use it, study it... for the Exam to come. And facilities you ask?

"Bukankah Kami telah menjadikan bumi itu sebagai hamparan?"
"Dan gunung-ganang sebagai pasak?"
"Dan Kami jadikan kamu berpasang-pasangan,"
"dan Kami jadikan tidurmu untuk istirahat,"
"dan Kami jadikan malam sebagai pakaian,"
"dan Kami jadikan siang untuk mencari penghidupan,"
"dan Kami bina di atas kamu tujuh buat langit yang kukuh,"
"dan Kami jadikan (matahari) pelita yang amat terang (benderang),"
"dan Kami turunkan dari awan air yang mencurah-curah,"
"supaya Kami tumbuhkan dengan air itu biji-bijian dan tumbuh-tumbuhan,"
"dan kebun-kebun yang subur?"
An-Naba':6-16

And if you make another list of it, I bet you can find a billion other facilities that Allah has granted us. And in the end, it all comes down to us; do we really want to take up on that offer or not?

If we recall the story about the genius boy... Strangely, he disregarded the offer. Maybe he thought why should he go through such hard work when he already has achieved so much? He is now officially the most genius boy, he could get tons of money if he voluntered to get his brains experimented on (ok, that is quite bizarre) or if he has rich parents, he could just sit around all day, playing video games and enjoying himself. There is another possibility that he is scared of failing the exam...

Many of us get too distracted with the world; with our possessions and material wealth. Sometimes, our love for the riches of the world surpasses beyond control and at one point, we become ignorant and arrogant, thinking why should we be tested when we are obviously too good for it (perasan btol)? We forget that this world, this lifetime is temporary and that in the afterlife is something we should be chasing for. And our fear of the Big Day? Our fear of failing the hisab? Why should we fear of failing it? Bukankah Allah itu Maha Adil lagi Bijaksana? Maha Pemurah dan Penyayang terhadap hamba-hambaNya yang soleh... We should be determined to work hard for Him instead of moping and worrying about failing.

Wallahu'alam.

"A Thousand Splendid Suns"

2008-08-23T10:01:00.015+04:00

Assalamualaikum,

I just returned from Singapore a few days ago, went to visit some of my relatives.. Cuti summer kali ni agak/perasan/buat2 busy (sampai terpaksa cancel a few times nk kluar dgn shaq, sorry!) and takde chance lagi nak jumpe ex-classmates di Jasin dulu. Hmm, next time I have to think about making my own holiday schedule, hehe... Anyway, my holidays are going to be over soon; one week left until my "grand" return to Russia. A few more things to be packed and a few other things to be done.

My time in Singapore was very brief, inadequate so to speak. Rase macam tak puas pula, sebab tak dapat nak jumpe semua sedare because they were not on holiday. Singapore has not gone through much change, at least physically (sebab tak cukup tanah kot.. huhu) but they were still tenaciously investigating and trying to capture Mas Selamat, JI leader who escaped from a detention centre there. And the thing that amuses me was they had our thumbprints verified at the immigration centre, as if Selamat would disguise as me.

Hmm, masa di Singapore tu, sempat juga pergi shopping sekejap. Selalunya, tak pergi jalan-jalan pun sebab berjalan raya je di rumah sedare. And I bought a book entitled "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. He written another book before called "The Kite Runner". His stories revolve around the predicaments that occured in Afghanistan (and the author himself was born there), during the Soviet and Taliban reign mostly. "A Thousand Splendid Suns" is a story aboutMariam and Laila, both born in Afghanistan with different histories and entourage. They meet during difficult times, being wives to an abusive husband and the reign of Taliban which oppresses women and obstructs their freedom. But amidst all of the sufferings they face, they endure and establish a sense of affection and respect towards each other. One of my favorite lines from the book is when Mariam teaches Laila's daughter, Aziza a fewverses from the Quran and how to perform namaz prayers.

It's all I have to give her, Mariam had said to Laila, these knowledge, these prayers. They're the only true possession I've ever had.

Setakat tu jelah bole cerita, yang lain tu kalau nak tahu lagi, bace sendiri buku tu, hehe.

And our last usrah with Kak Anie, Kak Firdausi also came to join us. We played a little game before ending our usrah. Kak Firdausi asked us to list down 5 qualities that you want in your future spouse; and not those he-must-be-handsome-and-own-tons-of-money qualities but well, more specific ones, for example: he memorises the 30th juzu' in the Quran or whenever it is time for prayers, he quickly goes to the mosque for jamaah or he invites you for jamaah together. You know, those kind of qualities.

And we listed and we shared (not going to write down mine here) and she asked us do you have these qualities in you? And the most intriguing question was... will you marry you? Interesting, no? Will you marry you? And not in an insane, narcissistic way but more metaphoric. Will you marry someone who has the same characteristics as you do?

[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

Wallahu'alam.

Side-tracked.

2008-08-17T22:15:00.002+04:00

Assalamualaikum,

“Barakallahu lakuma wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair..”
In hopes that Allah will bless and unite the both of you in benevolence.

Jauh jugak rupenye rumah Kak Sikin… might also be because of my inadequate ability in interpreting maps, jauh tersasar dr pangkal jalan. Lain kali, take note of not letting me read maps… I’m better at driving… an auto car, hehe (haram kalo drive manual).

Teringat pula satu analogy ni.. Our life is a journey, I think everyone agrees with that. It’s like taking the commuter to reach well, Seremban for example… but on our way there, we accidentally get side-tracked and end up shopping in Mid Valley or strolling around in KL Central but eventually, after we have finished shopping because we ran out of money, or suddenly a friend calls us, yelling on the phone asking us why we haven’t reached Seremban yet, we quickly take the commuter again to reach Seremban. And this story is quite similar to us. In surah Al-Dhariyat, verse 56 it is stated that our ghayah (or purpose) of living is Allah. To worship Him and attain His Mercy and Love. But along the way, us being very forgetful people, we are always distracted by the amusement and entertainment the world has to offer until sometimes we forget our purpose (or destination) in the first place - which is Allah. That is why we have to always find a way to keep us on track, straight towards that one final destination.

Okay, back to cerita sblmnya. Sampai2 je dgn mak, dah jumpe Farahin and Kak Aishah. Once or twice, I glanced at Kak Sikin and her husband. They looked happy and I wish happiness to the both of them… =) Hmm, nak cerita panjang2, diri sendiri pun belum lagi, so baik diamkan diri. I was really surprised to meet Wan there! Lagi lame tak jumpe Wan… Mula2, as usual… sgt2lah blurr, terfikirlah yang mungkin Wan dgn Kak Sikin somehow related to each other (sbb due duenye same kecil) or terserempak and became friends (unlikely, I know) tapi bila fikir2 balik, barulah sedar yang abang Wan pun belajar kat Russia… hehe.

It’s 2 a.m. InsyaAllah, I'll be travelling away from home tomorrow. Until then, assalamualaikum wrt…

Another Start

2008-08-15T14:00:00.000+04:00

Assalamualaikum wrt,

Actually, the thought of putting up a new blog has crossed my mind for some time already but ntahlah, rase mcm kena bg commitment pulak kalau buat blog sendiri, hehe..
Anyway, tadi baru Nurul ckp da lame rupenye tak update blog ni.

Hmm, mule2 nk cite pasal mukhayyam hari tu. Mukhayyam mmg best! Bile time 1st2 mukhayyam tu, rs mcm blurr sket (ikut je mane org pergi n terima je ape yg org bg) - atau mgkin, ni one of my attributes--- seorg yg blurr pd bile2 mase. But by the end of the mukhayyam, I finally got the message. Pengisian2 yg diberi tu bknlah sekadar utk diterima n didigest (skali dgn nasi n sardin atau telur yg hari2 kitorg mkn tu) tetapi juga utk membuka mata ni yg selame ni agak rabun (literally speaking). And if I could simplify it, I would simplify it in these few phrases; "tariq dakwah, tariq wahidah"; Jalan dakwah, jalan yg satu. It is the only way our Prophet, Muhammad p.b.u.h. and his companions have ever followed. Tidak ada jalan yg lain selain jalan dakwah dlm Islam. And if you're following some other way, then, that is not Islam. "To invite people to iman and amal and uniting their hearts with love and ukhuwwah." Itulah tariq wahidah. Indah kan?

And the realization that dawned upon me was crystal clear. Kalau dulu, murabbiahlah yg bg segala pengisian… Kite yg adek2 ni, dgr and terima je. And obviously, it doesn’t end there. If it did end there, then it would just be like a barrel of water which is stagnant and not moving, compared to the water in the river which is always flowing. Kalau air tu static je, air itu sendiri akan menjadi kotor dan tak mampu untuk membersihkan apa2 tapi lain pulak dgn air sungai yg sentiasa mengalir, bukan sahaja sentiasa bersih tapi juga dapat membersihkan benda2 yang di sekelilingnya. I realize, whether we are reluctant or not, we have to be the ones now yg juga memberi pengisian kpd org lain; that in every usrah/halaqah/circle/whatever you call it there is a certain goal to be reached. Iaitu adalah untuk melahirkan para murabbi/murabbiah/daie/whatever you call them. Giliran kita pula utk menjadi murabbi/murabbiah. InsyaAllah, dgn niat krnNya, walau ilmu di dada ini hanyalah sikit je kalo nk compare dgn ulama' n ahli fuqaha'... dgn keberkatan dr Allah, kita boleh melakukannya. Kita tk mungkin dpt rase betapa manisnya tarbiyah kalau kita sendiri belum mentarbiyah org lain.

Ukhuwah fillah. One of the more significant things I was able to grasp on. Bile nak blk n berpisah dgn kwn2 sume, hmm... rs mcm sdeyla plak. Walaupun kaki still separa bengkak tapi terlupa kejap pasal kaki yg sakit tu waktu pergi jungle trekking, mndi air terjun sume (balik rumah tu terase balik.. eh, kaki ni bengkak lg rupenye). What stronger ties than the ties of those with the same faith and aqidah? Walaupun baru seminggu berpisah, dah rindu dah kat diorg... Entah bile boleh jmpe lg.. (ke Germany plak utk winter??? hehe, bole gak, insyaAllah).

The clock is showing 2.50 am. Hmm, tonight is probably the latest I’ve ever stayed up in weeks.

Wallahu’alam.